Page 66 of Hunt for the Roses
Ronnie rolls his eyes playfully. “Someone says one good thing about a new restaurant, and you have to go.”
Cheryl turns to me. “Is it so awful I want to try new places?”
“I’m totally with you,” I say, and then I look at Ronnie. “Stop being annoying and diverge from the same five restaurants you eat at.”
Ronnie faces Cheryl. “I promise we’ll go, okay?”
Cheryl smiles and raises her glass to me as if to thank me, and I just lightly chuckle as I raise my glass back before taking a sip.
“How’s Dane?” Ronnie cuts in.
I pause as I stare back at him. The mention of Dane’s name makes me feel like this casual question implies my brother may know something. I make a slight frown and shake my head. “The usual. He’s Dane,” I answer, and then I take another bite of my pot roast as if that will prevent me from having to go on with this conversation.
“Have you seen him recently?” my mom asks.
I swallow nervously. “Not the past week, no.” Ronnie takes his sip of water, then looks at me as if he’s contemplating saying something. “What?” I ask.
Ronnie shakes his head. “Nothing.”
I feel my heart rate start to pick up from fear that he’s about to tell me he knows about Dane and me, even though that’s impossible. I avert my gaze as I take a sip of water but am interrupted by Ronnie’s voice. “Alright, the reason I ask about Dane is that I asked him to do me a favor.”
I furrow my brows waiting for him to continue. “I asked him to look out for you when you moved back to the townhouse, just to check in every once a while.”
“You begged him to be a friend to me?” I ask, annoyance evident in my voice.
“Ari, he was always your friend, don’t twist my words around,” Ronnie says as he shakes his head.
I let out a frustrated sigh before speaking. “Well, this is kind of shitty. I thought the time I spent with Dane this summer was genuine.” Then I look away from everyone’s faces at the table, almost like I’m embarrassed.
My mom cuts in immediately. “Your brother is right. Dane has always been a good friend to you. This doesn’t change that.”
I know the words they are saying make sense, and if they told me this information before Dane and I kissed, I probably would have thought nothing of it. But for some reason, this information bothers me. It saddens me not knowing if all the great times we’ve spent together were because Dane actually wanted to spend them together, or if those times were just a burden to him. Did it feel like a job to him to keep me company? I even remember our conversation on the pier when I told Dane I didn’t want him to feel obligated to me, and I didn’t like feeling like a charity case. He assured me that wasn’t the case, but was that a lie? Was he just telling me what I wanted to hear? It feels like Dane’s been keeping this small secret from me, and that I’ve been kept in the dark this whole time our relationship has been blossoming. The thought makes me lose my appetite, but I know I can’t overreact in front of my family right now. It would throw too many red flags in the air.
I look back at Ronnie. “I know you were looking out for me. I guess I’m just sick of sympathy,” I say matter-of-factly.
“It’s not sympathy. We all care about you,” Ronnie says.
I half smile back at him, and we go through the rest of our dinner talking about work, Ronnie and Cheryl’s house renovations, and other summer events. Although I’m physically engaged in all these conversations, my mind is still marred by disappointment.
It’s then that I realize my feelings for Dane may run deeper than I thought.
* * *
Friday, July 22, 2022
The next night, I’m throwing on a white, square neck crop tank top with a high-waisted floral ruched mini skirt. My hair is down in beach waves, and I finish the outfit with nude strappy sandals. I told Kate I wanted some girl time, so we’re going to Shippers alone, and I’m looking forward to some much-needed drinks and laughs.
Once Kate picks me up and we enter Shippers, we order drinks at the bar and find ourselves a table quickly.
“So how are things with Blake?” Kate asks.
I just shrug with a scrunched face in response.
“Nothing, huh?” Kate asks.
I let out a sigh before explaining. “He’s a really nice guy, and we had a fun time on both of our dates, but I just didn’t feelit.”
“I’m sorry, hun,” Kate says as she places a hand over mine. “You’re still healing, and maybe you just aren’t ready. You’ll know when you’re ready.”
