Page 93 of Hunt for the Roses
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Wednesday, August 3, 2022
I’m sitting on my porch reading a book with a glass of wine. My legs are curled at my side on the wooden bench as I absorb the words off each page, and it’s calming to have some down time. As Dane and I progress in our feelings, it’s almost like I can feel a slow-moving vortex in the pit of my stomach that threatens to pick up speed and cause mass destruction. Like a tornado of unsettled emotions brewing turmoil within me, but the gusts of wind aren’t violent just yet.
They’re whirling and waiting.
My relationship with Dane has developed exponentially. Accelerating gradually at first, and then faster as time goes on. But the more time passes, the more our sanity starts to chip away, and it seems like the rate of our relationship is too rapid for us to get a proper footing.
Sometimes silence is the loudest sound of all in the smallest instances, and it seems to be a common theme between the two of us lately. Unfortunately, silence isn’t a blessing in this situation, but rather a curse, and the absence of sound equates to the absence of a resolution.
How does this end for the both of us?
I hear my phone vibrate against the seat of the bench next to me, and I turn to flip it upward to see the screen with a new text message.
Mom: Start freeing up your weeks, because we have a lot to get done at the restaurant! Your father needs all the help he can get.??
Me: Already planned on it. Let me know when to come down, and I’m there.??
I place my phone face down on the seat of the bench again and go to take a sip of my wine, but just as I do, I see Kate’s Toyota Corolla pull up to the curb of my house. I squint my eyes as I drag the rim of my wine glass away from my lips and set it down on the floor of my porch. I close my book and place it next to me, then stand up to iron out my high-rise jeans and tucked in slub white tee as I swallow a nervous lump. Once Kate gets out of her car, she closes the door to look at me over the roof and stretches a tight-lipped smile over her lips. Naturally my lips stretch just like hers, mimicking the hopeful, yet unsure expression on her face.
“Can I come up?” Kate finally asks.
“Of course,” I say.
Kate holds the strap of her crossbody at her shoulder as she walks around the hood of her car in her black polka dot long sleeve dress with black heels. I eye her with trepidation as she walks up the pathway to my porch, not really sure what she’s about to say.
Is she going to lash out at me again?
Is she going to ask questions?
Is she going to forgive me?
When Kate reaches the top of my porch, she leans her shoulder on one of the posts, and I anxiously shove my hands in the back pockets of my jeans as I wait for her to say something.
“I’m on lunch now,” she says.
“Oh,” I say as I nod my head. “How’s work been today?”
Kate shrugs as she says, “Laid back. We finished our end of the month closing tasks last week, so this week is sure to be a breeze.”
“That’s something to look forward to at least,” I say with a shaky smile.
Kate swallows thickly as she nods in agreement, and her eyes just lock on mine for a few quiet moments, and I inhale as I feel her mind retreating back to that night at Shippers. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Kate says.
“Hopefully not because you hate me,” I respond honestly.
Kate starts to shake her head. “I could never hate you, Ari.”
I stretch a small smile as I look downward and play with my hands in front of my stomach. “That makes me really happy to hear,” I say, and then I lift my head up to look at Kate. “I needed to hear that. I’ve missed you a lot.”
“I’ve missed you too.” Kate stares at me for a few seconds, and then she sighs a long breath as she looks off to the side. “Ari, I know I said some really awful things last week. I guess I just felt betrayed. I don’t know…” she trails off.
“I know, Kate,” I say as I sigh and look off to the side with her. “This whole thing with Dane has been crazy, and I’m still trying to wrap my brain around it. But the only explanation I have is that it justhappened. I know that’s not going to be enough for anyone, but it’s the truth. I swear.”
When I finish my explanation, I turn my head to look at her, and then Kate’s eyes meet mine. “You guys have spent almost every moment together this summer. I guess it was only natural,” Kate offers.
I softly gasp in disbelief. “It seems like a lifetime ago. Everything happened so fast,” I admit.
