Page 98 of Hunt for the Roses
I can see in my peripherals that Dane’s gaze is averted downward, and his stance is rigid as tension radiates from his body. “It’s Kyle you’re thinking about, isn’t it?” he asks.
I lick my lips, keeping my eyes trained out the window as my emotions create a building pressure behind my eyes. “What does it matter? If I say yes, you’ll be pissed. If I say no, you’ll think I’m lying. I don’t win with this question.”
I see Dane turn his head to me in my side view. “Can you ju-”
“Yes.” I don’t let him finish his question. I know this truth is going to hurt Dane, but I can’t lie to him. I close my eyes, trying to compile my thoughts carefully. “But it’s not what you think.”
He lets out a small laugh like he doesn’t believe what I’m saying. “No? Could’ve fooled me.”
I throw my hands up and step away from the counter, the pressure of my emotions too great to keep pent up inside me anymore. “What do you want, Dane?!” I yell. “Just tell me what you want me to do!”
Dane shakes his head as he stands up from the counter. “Don’t do that. Don’t make it like I’m being completely unreasonable.”
I sigh as I run both my hands through my hair and turn to walk around my kitchen. “I guess it’s me who’s being completely unreasonable then, huh?”
“I never said that,” Dane says harshly.
I stop and face him as I drop my hands from my head. “You didn’t have to!”
“Well excuse me for wanting to make love to you without you thinking of someone else. I guess it’s just the price I have to pay after vying for the one woman who’s off limits to me,” Dane snaps back. Toxicity poisons the space between us as Dane’s hostility fuels my own rage.
“You know what, you’re right,” I say as I walk the few steps toward Dane, and as soon as I’m right in front of him, I start to bunch the hem of Dane’s shirt up. “I should just give you what you want.”
Dane places his hands on my wrists to pause my movements. “Stop,” he says, but his demand only powers my anger more as I drop my eyes downward to move my hands to his belt buckle and unloop the leather strap. “Knock it off, Ari.”
I can hear Dane’s clenched jaw as he speaks, but it doesn’t faze me, and when I start to unbutton his jeans, Dane’s hands take my wrists in a firm hold as I jerk forward. “I said cut it out,” he gruffs.
I push my forearms outward to release my wrists from his grip, and then I start to undo the rest of the buttons on my crop top that Dane didn’t get to earlier. When I shrug the sleeves off, my shirt falls to the kitchen floor, and I’m left standing in front of Dane in my red lace bra and high-rise denim shorts. I swallow my nerves down as I take a step forward and place my small palms on his chest, grazing one up to cup the side of his face.
“Take me to bed,” I whisper as I peer up at him. Dane inhales a shaky breath as he places his palm over my hand at his chest, and I can tell he’s contemplating taking my invitation. “It’s what you want, isn’t it? To know you’ve won?” I breathe out.
I gasp in surprise when Dane scoops me up from behind my thighs, and I wrap my legs and arms around him, not thinking my little charade would put us in this predicament. Dane starts to move us out of the kitchen, and with each step he takes, my heart skips with distress. I close my eyes as I lean my forehead against his, uncertain if I’m going to be able to take this next step.
I barely sift through my thoughts when I feel Dane lower me on to something soft as he stays hovering above me. My eyes remain shut because I’m sure I’m going to throw up once I see my bedroom walls encasing us. But when I start to sink into the cushioned surface I’m lying on, I realize we’re not on my bed.
We’re on my living room couch.
When I open my eyes, Dane’s green hues stare back at me, and the only emotion I see weaved within them isunderstanding.
He’s not bitter.
He’s not resentful.
And he’s most certainly not angry with me.
The panic inside of me loosens its grip on my heart, and I’m able to breathe more steadily as Dane brushes a few hair strands away from my eye with the pads of his fingers. Then Dane cups the side of my face, and his thumb strokes my cheek in a back-and-forth motion as he says, “I only win if I have your heart. But I’d nevertakeyour heart. I want you to choose to give it to me.”
My eyes glisten as I take in his beauty.
Not the beauty of his looks.
The beauty of his heart.
This man.This beautiful man, who knows me so intricately well, satisfies my body and soul in every single way that’s humanly possible. He knows just what I’m thinking and what I need at every moment. Whether we’re being intimate, having a conversation, or whether we’re having an argument. Sometimes it’s scary just how well he knows me, and maybe that’s because he’s the last person I ever expected to understand me as wholly as he does. And with that, he’s absolutely taken my breath away.
I think a part of me has hoped that my attraction to Dane was purely physical and was just a side effect of our passionate lovemaking. But when I look into his eyes now, my body isn’t the only part of me coming to life.
I feel my heart beat differently.
