Page 78 of Fly Back to Me
Olivia
Only I would be up at two o’clock in the morning with noise cancelling headphones, staring into the abyss of my bedroom.
Of all sexual experiences of my life, tonight’s just formed another league. Cade didn’t even need to touch me. Not once. And if there was a piece of doubt lying dormant in the back of my mind before, I’m absolutely positive now that he’s got theentirepackage.
Hugepun intended.
I roll on the mattress, settling on my stomach to stargaze through the window. My forearms cross in front of me, and the pads of my fingers dance on my bottom lip.
These were the same fingers I used to gratify myself. In front of someone. It was a first for me, but my eagerness would never give that fact away. And even though I physically made myself come, there’s no denying that he’s the reason I did.
It was all him.
Taylor Edwards’ “Don’t” rings through the cushioned speakers, my eyes catching the charcoal sky at the same time. I drag my bottom lip down with my marked fingers, relishing in every new memory we created tonight. But when my mind rewinds to the dialogue we shared afterward, my blood cools.
Trust is everything to me.
My palms land on opposite shoulders, fingers now playing with the straps of my ribbed tank top.
How is Cade going to react when I tell him I’ve pursued him with an ulterior motive? Or when he finds out I’m the woman he saved from that attack? The same attack he’s confided in me about because hetrustedme to listen.
A minute ago, the stars were sharp in the sky. I could pinpoint every single one through the darkness. But their shine dulls the more I stare and think, and my eyes lose the path they were tracing between them.
I lost my way.
From the very start of my mission, the end goal was always wrapped in this gorgeous box with a pretty bow. A gift I couldn’t wait to open when I finally had the chance to get my eager hands on it. I’d always envisioned myself ripping at the ribbon, chucking off the lid of the box, and grinning so wide my cheeks would give out.
I don’t see that raveled gift anymore at the finish line.
Instead, it’s Cade.
And my heart doesn’t tingle at this version of him I see. Because he’s standing beyond the red line as his beautiful face falls with disappointment. A sadness that he’s already been forced to endure with someone else. A grief he thought I could help strip away, not layer on.
Me, of all people.
Nausea pools in my cheeks as my confidence deflates. Did I really not think this through to the end? Did I really not considerhow all of this would affect Cade?
I replay my conversation with Lauren in the car, watching myself brush all her warnings off, and all I want to do is reach in and slap the shit out of me. How could I be this selfish? To this man? This beautiful, amazing, and extraordinary man who I’ve fallen completely head over heels for.
My body rummages around to sit up, the outside noise too loud for the headphones to block anymore. I bend my knees to my chest, my fingers clutching the dangling metal at my ankle.
If our time together is limited, at least I know he’ll always be with me. I know I’ll always have this part of him.
The best piece.
The piece of him I fell in love with.
My fingertips press into the stainless-steel ridges, surely marking indents on my skin. I need to tell Cade who I am, and I need to do it before we sleep together. I guess that’s my concocted moral boundary, but it’s all I have right now.
Since I’m past the point of no return, I’m forced to devise a new set of rules to abide by. And I refuse to lose Cade.
Ican’tlose Cade.
We were written in the stars.
Chapter 29
Cade
