Page 125 of Dove
“We don’t have to go together if you don’t want to,” I suggested, the words tasting like ash on my tongue. I attempted to keep the hurt out of my words.
“No!” Omen startled at her adamant reply, mewing grumpily. “No,” she repeated, quieter. “I do. I mean, I want to.”
I wavered, still confused as to why she’d think I wouldn’t want to go with her, that I wouldn’t want her to go withme. “You know if we arrive together the town won’t think anything of it. We can just go and have fun like we used to—that’s all. Nothing more. No one has to know we’re going as a couple.”
She continued to pet Omen softly, her gaze trained anywhere but at me. I hated that I had no idea what she was thinking. I hated that it happened more often than not, now.
“I think it’s more because Idowant to go with you like that,” she admitted in a whisper. “So badly I can barely stand it. I always have.”
Her admission had my heart thumping so hard against my ribcage I was afraid it would burst right out of my chest and land at her feet.
“I want to hold your hand or kiss you without the town condemning us for it.” She looked up at me, eyes glassy with emotion. “I want more with you, Josh. That’s the problem. But… I also don’t want what I know comes with that. I’m afraid of what comes after.”
“I understand.” I squeezed her closer to me. “Nothing’s conventional about this, Dove. I want to do those things with you, too, but it’s okay not to be ready for that.” I could give a shit what this town thought of me, but I wouldn’t let their judgment fall on her shoulders just because of our feelings. Plus, the longer I stayed here with her, the more I realized I wanted to be here, if that’s what she wanted. Causing a scandal was the last thing we needed. Whenever we decided to reveal who we really were to each other, I wanted it to be on our terms.Wecontrolled the narrative. Not the town gossips. “I told you we can take this at our own speed. Together or separate, we’ll have fun.” Especially for what I had planned after. Screw the fucking festival.
“Let’s go together.” She winced. “Nottogether, together.” She turned sorrowful, pleading eyes on me. “Not yet, but one day.”
Instead of answering, I leaned down and planted a kiss on her lips, which were red from biting them in worry, to reassure her I understood.One daysounded like the best kind of promise. But until that day, I was fine having her all to myself.
I liked it that way.
28
DOVE
Driving into the heart of Haven was mayhem.
The minute we hit the main road that fed into town, it was nearly bumper to bumper traffic. There was a line of expensive, flashy cars without scratches that screamedcorporate job, and trucks so clean you could see your reflection in them—all without a speak of dirt on their rims. Damn near blasphemous in these parts.
They wouldn’t stay that way, of course. Not out here.
“Busier than I remember,” Josh commented absentmindedly, creeping up slowly as traffic moved. His hand was a hot brand on my knee, the rough scrap of his calluses tickling the sensitive skin there with each brush of his fingers.
He hadn’t taken his hands off me since I’d walked out of the house.
We’d woken up early, the sun barely a thought in the sky, so we could get most of what we needed to do before we left done for the day. We’d still put off some work, prioritizing the most important chores, but it meant we could leave earlier than we would have otherwise. I hated that we’d be missing a half day of work, but Josh reassured me that it would be okay. I knewhe was right. We were so close to harvest, and the weather was cooperating. We could enjoy a partial day off together.
Together. I liked the sound of that.
I enjoyed every moment I got with Josh, even working, but doing something that didn’t pertain to the farm with him? Anticipation had festered in me all day, growing as the minutes ticked by. Although we couldn’t outwardly act like it, this was our first date. Our first real outing since we’d gotten together. Just the thought of it had me biting at my bottom lip to stop the sappy smile that threatened to slip onto my face anytime it crossed my mind.
When we’d wrapped up earlier this afternoon, I’d practically scurried to the house and bounded up the stairs to get ready. Josh might not have needed much time for himself, but I needed every minute I could get. I’d FaceTimed Reverie the moment my bedroom door latched closed, frantically holding up clothes and asking her to guide me through curling my hair. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done it in something other than a bun or a braid. I even found some old nail polish—a bright pink that had both Rev and me remembering the day we’d bought it together, another one of her grand schemes to get Josh to notice me back then—and did my nails for the first time inyears.I would have preferred her help, but she regretfully informed me she was working a half day at the salon and busy later, again hedging around details.
When I’d finally emerged out into sunlight, dressed in something familiar but drastically prettier than my regular day-to-day clothes, Josh was patiently waiting by his Suburban, hands crossed over his chest, aviators shading his eyes. Knowing he was standing there, waiting for me so he could take me out, had my heartrate picking up with each step I took towards him.
He looked handsome with his new haircut, styled in a way that made me want to run my hands through the temptingbrown locks and ruin them, sporting a pair of dark wash Wrangler jeans I hadn’t seen him wear before. The light blue Henley that stretched across his torso and shoulders was new, too, and it fit just right—unlike some of the clothes he’d been forced to wear since he came back. My eyes trailed lower, drawn to his exposed forearms, where a masculine leather wrap bracelet adorned one wrist, decidedlynotnew. I recognized it as a gift I’d given him one year for Christmas, where I’d gotten the day we met engraved on the inside.
Heat simmered in my belly. He looked downright delectable.
His head turned as I descended the steps and crossed the driveway. He pushed off the side of the car, reaching to remove his sunglasses and tuck them into his collar, never once glancing away, eyes glued to me, their depths molten chocolate as they roamed over me like mine had him just a second ago. He took a step forward, then another, meeting me halfway.
“You look gorgeous,” he admired thickly. “Red’s a good color on you.”
His compliments were bullets I didn’t want to dodge, and yet I dismissed him. “You’ve seen this dress before.” I fiddled with the hem of it, a flowy, off-the-shoulder sundress. It was nothing new, that was true, but I’d hardly worn it. It was one of the few things in my wardrobe Reverie-approved. Probably because she said it flattered my curves while making my legs look a mile long, but that could have just been her envy talking. Reverie’s big personality was packed into a pint-sized body.
He leaned in closer, his nose skimming along my hairline. “Ilovethis fucking dress.” His voice was a sensual caress down my spine and despite the summer sun beating down on us a shiver worked its way down my spine.
“Yeah?” I asked, slightly breathless. Maybe my best friend had been onto something.
