Page 131 of Dove
In an attempt to behave, I slid the hand teasing between her legs to the back of her thigh, hoping to calm things down, but instead she took it as an invitation to hitch that leg higher around my hip, making it easier for her to rock against me. Somehow, I’d just made things both worse andmuch, muchbetter for myself.
In that moment, there were two things I was absolutely certain of.
One was that I wanted to fuck Dove up against this wall, to slip right into her welcoming heat and get lost, and two, that it was the last thing I was going to do.
She was lost in an inferno of lust I’d held the match to and ignited, which meant I had to be the one to douse it out. Regrettably and painfully, I pulled back. Her lips chased mine,searching. “Dove.” Without her mouth occupied, her puffy, abused lips slipped along my bearded jaw, peppering kisses down my throat as her nails scraped the nape of my neck.
I had to fight my eyes from rolling back into my head at the sensation. She fucking knew how much that got me, the minx. Dove may not have been the most experienced, but she knew enough to know what she was doing to me. My hands left her to lay flat against the wall on either side of her head and pushed away, creating distance between our bodies. She didn’t seem to notice, her pretty eyes shut as she attempted to writhe against me, arms still wrapped tightly around my neck, making it difficult to fully extract myself from her.
I’d gotten her here, but I couldn’ttakeher here.
“Dove.” I exhaled sharply as she nipped at a tender spot on my neck. My fingers curled into my palms, scraping against the rough brick. The bite of pain was grounding, helping me remain focused so I wouldn’t give in and touch her. “Why don’t we get out of here?” I suggested hoarsely.
Ineededto get out of here.
“Please, Josh.” God, hearing her beg was almost too much, but I kept my hands where they were, remembering what Dove had made clear earlier before we arrived. This may be what she wantednowbut she’d regret it. And I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if she ever regretted one thing we did together.
“We can’t, baby,” I struggled to get out. “Not here.” Telling her no was like attaching a heavy weight to my heart, dragging me down. There wasn’t much I’d ever denied Dove, and that was true to this day. But this… we couldn’t do this right now. Feeling more in control, I uncurled my hands from where they rested and gently cradled her jaw again, directing her glassy, lust filled gaze up at me.
“Let’s blow this popsicle stand,” I joked, although it fell flat. I wasn’t feeling very humorous, not when the ache in my groinwas damn near painful. I pressed a kiss to her forehead. Then, because I couldn’t help myself, I bent down to promise huskily in her ear, “I’ll get you there, pretty girl, just not when we have the whole damn town more than a few feet away from us.”
Music and laughter had started to grow louder and livelier, drifting into the quiet seclusion we occupied. A quick glance up confirmed the sun was starting to paint a farewell in the sky with hues of pink and purples, which meant the party was only just getting started for the residents of Haven.
Dove’s chest rose and fell, taking a minute to compose herself before she relented with a soft, “Okay.” Her nod of agreement was accompanied by two twin rosy dots on her cheeks as a feminine voice only a few feet away called out to someone, reminding us both of how easily we could get caught. It surprised me that she’d been two minutes away from letting me fuck her against a back-alley wall as if her earlier agreement about being on our best behavior had been forgotten the moment my lips touched her. I knew whyI’dtossed my promise to behave out the window, but Dove?
Did my touch really have that much power over her resolve, as much as hers did over mine?
I couldn’t say shit, though. I’d been the one to bring upbest behaviorin the first place, knowing that even an ounce of affection from her would lead me astray. And look what happened… One kiss and I’d been willing to risk it all. If she’d uttered one more plea in that seductive siren voice, I would have unzipped and given it to her right here, hiking that dress up with a command to hold on tight. It was a miracle I had enough self-restraint to stop. But I was trying not to lose her, and that was a one-way ticket to a place without her, a place I’d been familiar with and had no desire to return to.
Plus, Dove didn’t deserve her first time to be a quick, quiet fuck against a brick wall. No, she deserved more than that, and that’s what I planned to give her.
My fingers threaded through her hair, fixing any strands that looked out of place. The step back I took felt more like a football-field’s worth of space rather than a handful of inches.
“Come on,” I tipped my chin toward the entrance. “We can make our way out, hopefully without another hundred-and-one questions.” When she remained oddly subdued, I attempted to lighten the heaviness that still lingered between us. “I’ll grab you that shaved ice you love so much on the way out to cool you down.”
She huffed out an uneven laugh, before fluffing her hair and straightening her rumpled dress. Her cheeks were still a delightful shade of pink, but her eyes were bright and eager, like she couldn’t wait to leave.
Thank God.
We walked around the recycling container, and I made sure to keep my hands permanently at my sides because I couldn’t trust them, not with how much they itched to be on her.
“Seems like we keep runnin’ into each other.”
My head snapped to the slurred voice coming from the head of the alley. Dove froze, still as a marble statue and just as exquisite, the fear radiating off her damn near palpable.
“Torrence,” I growled. I was going to kill this motherfucker one day.
“Or maybe I should say,” he kept going, running that damn big mouth of his, one that I loathed to know had been on Dove’s before, which meant I more than wanted to punch it already, “I keep runnin’ intoyou two.”
Scratch that. I was going to kill this motherfuckertoday.
“Well,” I managed to grit out, “itisa small town.”
“Josh was just… consoling me,” Dove piped up from beside me after a second of hesitancy, her voice soft but perfectly even, which I knew meant she was attempting to keep the tremor out of it. “It’s been a lot, being here without my mom, on top of everyone wanting to reminisce about her and Gareth.”
I glanced sideways at her. While the first part was an off-the-top-of-her-head lie, that last part sounded genuine. I had a feeling today would be rough on her, but did I think to ask her? I could kick myself for not checking in to see how she was doing without Josie here with us. It seemed Dove wasn’t the only one who could hide feelings by putting on a mask. She hadn’t given me any indication being here had been wearing on her emotionally, other than that bout of anger. It killed me that she felt she had to keep that from me.
Once there had been a time when, other than what I now knew were our mutual feelings for one another, we hadn’t hidden anything from each other. Good days, bad days, through it all we were each other’s safe spaces, each other’s sounding boards, able to lay our feelings out without judgement. This emotional distance between us… there was no doubt my absence had caused it, but I still wished she’d rely on me like she once had, especially when her grief struck, instead of saving it for the cover of night, which was the only time she’d let her guard down enough for me to comfort her. If at night was the only time she allowed me to help shoulder the burden of her pain, I’d do it. Even if it took the rest of my life, I’d never stop proving I could be that safe space for her like I once was.
