Page 153 of Dove
Dr. Sterling glanced back at Clover. “She’ll be okay. I told Dove I’ll work on a treatment plan and get her medicine filled as fast as I can. She’s getting older, so these things happen. Just keep an eye on her and call me if she seems off again.”
Josh nodded. “Dove, why don’t you coax Titan out to pasture, Shadow’s already out there waiting for him. He’s being stubborn with me and seems to do better with you. I think he’s still holding a grudge about me being gone for so long.” He said the last sentence with a small laugh, but I didn’t join in.
I glanced between the two of them. “Dr. Sterling needs to be paid, Josh.” Although, I hadn’t stepped foot in Gareth’s office enough to even know how to do that. Did he have a checkbook? Did she even accept checks? Or was his card on file?
God, why was I only now just thinking of this.
“I know, Dove.” His large palm found the space between my shoulder blades and guided me out of Clover’s stall. “I’ve got it handled, okay? Don’t worry about it.”
Worry found me anyway. I was excellent at it, after all. “But?—”
“Don’t worry,” he repeated. “I got it.” He bent, his lips brushing the shell my ear as he ordered, “Be a good girl and go tend to Titan for me, okay?”
His words caused a short-lived thrill to race through me, but I threw him anxious glance over my shoulder, worrying my bottom lip. “You’re sure?” It never felt right when I pushed responsibilities onto him, but I reminded myself I was allowing Josh to help me. To take some of the burden. I trusted him.
“Positive.” He placed both hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me in the direction of Titan’s stall. “Let me finish up with her, and then we can tackle the rest of the day, okay? I won’t be long.”
Despite his reassurance it still didn’t settle right with me to have Josh handle that by himself. Gareth always took care of the bills and in my grief, I’d forgotten all about that particular responsibility. To know Josh had taken it over without question had me feeling too many things to name.
“We’ll talk about it later,” Josh promised, as if he could hear all the thoughts swirling around in my head. “Okay?”
“Alright,” I reluctantly agreed. The urge to kiss him came over me, and I walked off before I could do anything incriminating in front of our guest.
I heard his steps retreat to where she was waiting at the entrance, and their voices grew distant as he walked her back to her truck.
Concern flooded me. I hadn’t even considered the finances this whole time and kicked myself for my oversight. Some farm owner I was.
A cold wave of dread filled me.
Was I the owner of the farm?
Just the thought of that responsibility had my chest tightening. But wouldn’t I have to like, I don’t know, sign things? I hadn’t heard from anyone. But then, knowing Josh, I wouldn’t have put it past him to have held it off, knowing how it’s been since losing our parents.
And if I wasn’t, who was? Had Gareth left it to Josh, even after what had happened?
That thought had not-so-great feelings coming back to the surface, ones I thought last night had all but squashed. But I couldn’t help but wonder and worry. Was Josh here because he wanted to be, or was he here out of some sense of misplaced obligation now that he was the owner of a farm he didn’t want, beholden to a stepsister he hadn’t expected to reconcile with?
I tried to focus on coaxing Titan out to pasture andnotworking myself into a state of panic. I thought I’d worked through this with Josh, but I guess I hadn’t. It had just laid dormant inside me, waiting for the other shoe to drop, for a bomb to go off to blow up the tentative sense of stability I’d been lulled into since he’d been back.
Now all that worry I’d had when he arrived doubled, adding to the stress of not only keeping the farm running, butmanagingit, doing all the stuff I hadn’t been privy to because Gareth was still alive to do it. I’d been ignorant in my grief, overwhelmed by loss, and I suspected this was just another thing Josh silently shouldered, like he’d always done when it came to his father and the farm andme.
When Titan finally decided he’d like to go outside, I kept my focus anywhere but where the two of them were still talking in the driveway. The giant stallion whinnied, likely sensing my growing distress. I rubbed my hand along his strong neck, soothing him. It wasn’t his fault I was a nervous wreck, that was my own doing entirely. Unfortunately, I was familiar with the feeling of drowning on dryland and the futility of waiting to be thrown a lifebuoy when no one had any idea I was slowly sinking into dark depths. I left the horses to graze and made my way back to Clover. Dr. Sterling had said to leave her in if she wasn’t feeling up to being out, so I guided her back to her clean stall, taking time to brush her down.
With each brushstroke across her shiny pelt, the tension inside me melted away. My nerves remained frayed at the edges but not as raw. Her nose nudged me as if sensing my mood, and I nuzzled her cheek, exhaling deeply. Spending time with these gentle giants was as good as therapy, although now that I thought of it, maybe Ishouldcall up my old therapist and ask for a session. I’d been avoiding it, but… maybe it would help all these convoluted emotions swirling inside me.
I’d just leave out the fucking my stepbrother part.
Leaving Dove when I could see the questions swirling in her eyes was hard, but I didn’t want her hearing this conversation. Not yet, anyway.
“How bad is it?” I asked bluntly when we’d gotten far enough away that I was sure Dove wouldn’t overhear, bracing myself.
Her regretful sigh said enough, and I ran my hands through my damp hair. “Jesus.”
“Your father had fallen behind on quite a few medical bills in the past years, but we’d discussed it and he’d been placed on a payment plan. Unfortunately, in the recent months, he’d neglected to pay them.” She frowned, a small crease forming between her eyebrows. “I knew what he was going through with Josie, so I hadn’t pestered him about it. I know how it can be around here when someone falls on hard times. I hate to even bring it up, Josh, you know that. Especially given the circumstances.” Her voice as filled with regret and sympathy.
“I know,” I agreed, because I did. It was just how Haven was. We looked out for our own. Well, most did, anyway, even if it was in their own small-town way. “It’s not your fault my father didn’t pay you like he should’ve.”
“It’s not yours either,” she pointed out.
