Page 42 of Dove
Words caught in my throat as I hesitated. I didn’t want to tell him I’d come specifically for him, to keep him company. Sometimes solitude called, even if what you really needed was companionship. If Josh truly wanted to be alone, I knew he wouldn’t tell me to leave, even if it’s what he really wanted. And somehow, I don’t think he’d appreciate me admitting I’dsearched him out because I was worried he was out here alone, mopey and sad.
I shrugged causally. “Same as you, I suppose.”
Even in the moonlight, Josh’s skepticism was clear. “How’d you know I was out here by myself?”
My stomach churned unpleasantly. “Are you expecting company?”
Maybe that’s why Stella had called him tonight. Maybe she’d called asking for a hookup, and I’d misinterpreted the whole thing. My cheeks heated as I imagined finding Stella and him here together, intertwined in the back of his truck.
I looked around, but she was nowhere to be found.
“I’m alone,” Josh admitted with a shake of his head. “It’s just me out here.”
A wave of awkwardness rushed through me, and I felt stupid for coming out here. All I wanted to do was cheer him up, let him know that I was here for him as much as he’d always proved to be there for me, especially in the beginning, when I’d first moved here. But perhaps what he really neededwasto be by himself.
I was about to apologize, turn myself around and trudge back home when he offered, “I’ve got some blankets, if you wouldn’t find it too boring to lay out and stargaze with me. Otherwise, I can’t say I’m much good company right now.”
Lay out and stargaze with him?
Be still my heart. Had Josh never opened a romance book in hislife? My heart did a concerning flip in my chest, but I knew as romantic as it sounded, Josh didn’t mean it like that. I was his stepsister, and he likely felt obligated to offer. That was all.
It soured the moment, just a little.
“I can go back if you want to be alone. I?—”
I just wanted to be with you,I almost said, butkept those words to myself.
“No, stay.” He smiled, though it looked a touch strained—like it had taken more effort than it should have. “Honestly, I could use the company right now,” he confessed, his eyes finding anywhere to look at but mine.
His soft admittance took away my hesitation. Lay in bed alone, or lay under a starry night sky with Josh? It wasn’t a hard decision to make.
Take that, Stella.
The bed of the truck shifted under me as I climbed up into it, finding the blankets still slightly warm from where Josh must have been lying down. The view of the sky was so much nicer like this. Sprawled out on my back, it stretched out like an endless canvas, the stars twinkling in the shape of constellations I’d never taken time to familiarize myself with. I cursed myself for the lack of knowledge. Something like that would have come in handy for a moment like this.
Josh settled beside me, bending one of his arms back to cradle his head. I laced my fingers together and set them on my stomach, enjoying the feeling of peace settling over me.
Crickets sang and cicadas hummed lowly in the trees surrounding us, the warm summer air a balm to the hectic week we’d both had.
I let myself savor this rare moment—the twinkling stars overhead, the hum of nighttime life, the solid presence of Josh beside me. There weren’t many times I could say I was one hundred percent content, but this was one of them. My eyes, which had been wide awake, now grew heavy, lulled toward sleep by the comfort of lying here.
“Why Dove?” Josh asked randomly from beside me, breaking my quiet reverie.
I hummed, my eyes slipping shut for just a moment. “Why what?”
“No, why the nameDove? How’d your parents decide on that? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a pretty name, just?—”
My eyes blinked back open, inspecting the night sky. A star flickered in the distance, but I’d read somewhere that it wasn’t a star at all, but a satellite. An imposter in the sky. I wondered if it could see us right now, lying here, and resisted the silly urge to wave at it.
“Weird?” I suggested. Nothing I hadn’t heard before.
“Unique,” he stressed.That, however, I hadn’t.
Unique was a nice was of putting it, and I supposed it was. I’d never met anyone with my name before, and I’d been picked on more times than I could count for it. But I never said anything to my parents, especiallyafter, because I wasn’t ashamed of my name. I loved it.
“My father’s name was Donovon Eugene Riley Jr.,” I explained, a mournful twinge settling in my chest at saying it out loud. “They’d been expecting a boy—at least, that’s what my mom told me—so I was supposed to be Donovon Eugene Riley the third. Instead, I came out a screaming baby girl.”
“Why am I not surprised,” Josh murmured playfully, as if attempting to lighten the mood. Josh might not have known everything about that day, but he knew my father was gone, he knew both my mother and I rarely talked about him.
