Page 75 of Dove
“Then don’t.” The permission in my words hung between us, suspended in midair, opening something both of us had been denying for years.
“Tell me you want me to.”
Every breath felt charged as we shared the same air. I could barely concentrate on what he was saying, not when he was this close. Not when I could smell him, that woodsy, masculine scent of his, with undernotes of alcohol that lingered on his breath from the bar. Not when his body was inches from mine.
“Want you to what?” I asked, the question nearly swallowed by the rain pounding outside the barn doors.
“Ruin you.”
All the breath in my lungs vanished at those two words.
I was furious with him. I was hurt. But I wanted him more than I wanted to hold on to that anger and pain.
I exhaled—offering him the permission he was silently begging for, with air I didn’t even have to give.
“Ruin me.”
19
JOSH
Then
Seeing Dove happy was the best thing in the world.
She was like a fully bloomed flower turned toward the sun, vibrant and radiant. I wanted to see that look on her face forever, wanted tobethe one to put that look on her face forever.
But I was happy gazing in through the window from afar.
After her graduation, after photos and well-wishers and a heavy arm full of bouquets, she chucked her gown, showing off the cute outfit she’d picked out underneath it. I cradled Dove’s flowers in one arm, her gown carefully draped over the other, as her mother doled out rules. I barely heard her, too focused on keeping my gaze from straying to Dove’s bare legs in that dress.
“And home before midnight,” Josie ordered firmly.
Dove and Reverie shared a look, the other girl still swallowed up in her white graduation gown, her cap askew atop her head.
“No later, Dove,” Josie cautioned, as if sensing their telepathic defiance. “And no drinking. If I find out you’ve had even one sip, you’re grounded.”
“Mom—”
I glanced up long enough to see Josie’s stern face.
“Fine,” Dove conceded begrudgingly. “But we’re getting ready at Rev’s, so I’m going to leave with her, is that okay?”
“Of course, baby,” Josie said, voice turning sweet as she tugged her close for a hug. “I’m so proud of you. Congratulations, honey.” She kissed Dove’s forehead tenderly and my heart ached in my chest for something I never had.
“Mom,” Dove whined, laughing. “That’s like the twentieth time you’ve said it.”
“Well, I’ve got to say it extra, don’t I?” She tugged Dove closer and whispered privately to her, “Your father would be so proud of you.”
I only heard it because I was so close to them, having offered to hold whatever Dove wasn’t taking with her.
Dove’s eyes grew misty, and Josie took her back into her arms again. They embraced long and hard, swaying slightly. I risked a glance over to my father, surprised to find his eyes softer than usual.
Even he’d pulled Dove in for a celebratory hug.
All I’d gotten was a pat on the shoulder at my graduation.
Regardless, I was happy that Dove had her mother’s love and my father’s affection. If anyone deserved it, it was her. Dove deserved all that and more.
