Page 81 of Dove
I still had another problem, but as long as she went back upstairs it wouldn’t be too hard to handle.
Sneaking out under her nose was terrible. It was horrible.
But it was necessary. If she truly didn’t remember me almost kissing her…
How did I explain to her why I was leaving? That in her vulnerable drunk state I nearly took advantage of her… and my dad saw it?
There weren’t words for the shame that burned through me.
No. It was better this way.
I took another bite of my sandwich, watching her crack open a water bottle and guzzle it greedily. I knew all about that post-drinking thirst, and it had completely slipped my mind to leave her out a water and some pain meds.
Before I could think better of it the words were out of my mouth. “Sorry.”
She let out a small gasp for air as she finished the water off, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “For what?”
“I should have set you out a water bottle and something for that headache that's brewing.”
She blinked, as if the thought didn’t compute. “Did you take me upstairs?” Her face scrunched as if she was thinking hard. “I think I remember that…”
I didn’t want her digging too much into the memory, so I cleared my throat. “Yes, I stayed up waiting. When you stumbled out of God knows whose truck, I made sure you got upstairs safely.” I paused. “Josie has no idea.” About the drinking, I didn’t say.
She let out a relieved sigh. “Thanks, Josh.” She lifted the empty bottle in her hands. “And nothing a short walk to the kitchen can’t fix.”
I looked her over, noticing how tired she looked.
“How you feelin’?”
“Head is throbbing, and I think it might not have been a good idea to chug that water.” She clenched at her stomach. “My stomach doesn’t feel so good.”
Itskedand shook my head, reaching up to our medicine cabinet to get some pills for her. I placed them in her hand and opened the fridge behind her, grabbing another water bottle.
“Take these,” I instructed, placing two little pills in her palm. “And sip this slowly.” I cracked the cap and handed her the water after she tipped back the pills and swallowed them dry. I shuddered. I had no idea how she did that.
She took a small sip, and I put the lid back on.
Sadness enveloped me as I realized this might be the last time I’d see Dove for a while. Might be the last time I speak to her…
I shook my head. I didn’t want to think about it.
My dad was a man of little words, but his threats were not to be taken lightly. If he wanted me gone, it meant he wanted megone. There would be no outside contact with Dove, not while she was under his roof, at least. He’d want no reason for Josie topack them both up and run far away from his“perverse”son. I didn’t want the wrath of my father to fall on Dove in my absence.
I’d stay away from her.
Unable to stop myself, I kissed the top of her head and murmured, “Go back to bed, little dove. That should help you feel better when you wake up.”
“Mkay,” she yawned wide around the word.
My heart ached as she padded away, taking a piece of me with her I would never be able to bring with me. That part of me belonged to her permanently.
She stopped just outside the kitchen, then turned back to me and smiled softly. “Night, Josh.”
In that small snippet of time, I attempted to memorize her smile, as it was likely the last one I’d ever see from her.
When she turned back to leave, something caught her eye and she froze, her gaze fixed to the front door.
I cursed softly just as she spun around with wide eyes.
