Page 96 of Dove
The smile dropped from my face. Whatwouldhappen if we broke up?
Would I be okay with letting Dove’s heart go? To let it be free to love someone else? To stand by as she introduced me as her stepbrother, like I hadn’t loved and lost her? Like I hadn’t memorized the very taste of her?
It would kill me, but if Dove was happy? That’s all that mattered to me.
When I got her tragic voicemail and made the decision to come back home, I’d already accepted the fact I’d need to shove my feelings aside so I could have Dove in my life, because not having her in it hurt too much. This was no different.
The reality was… I’d never break up with Dove. She was it for me, but I had to let her have that choice.
“Even if we break up,” I vowed to her, “I’ll always be here for you.”
I dropped her hands so I could curl my fingers through the belt loops of shorts and tug her into my side. Resting my cheek against the top of her head, I breathed in deep, intoxicating myself with the scent of her.
“I love you.” The words just left me, lingering in the air around us. I tensed, not knowing how she’d take that after what she’d just said, and hurriedly backtracked. “You don’t have to say it back, because I know there’s a difference between familial love and romantic love, and we haven’t?—”
A grunt escaped me as her fingers dug into my ribs. “Of course, I love you, you dope.”
My heart inflated like a helium balloon, weightless andfree,and I couldn’t help but smile at her response, so typical Dove.
“I just don’t want to lose you again.” She worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “We live in a small, conservative town, Josh. What happens if they find out? What if?—”
My lips on hers put an end to her spiraling questions. Once Dove started, she didn’t stop. She’d think of every likely scenario and worry about it, expressing every available concern.
I didn’t wantusto be another stressor in her life. I wanted to be the one who took her worries away, who could shoulder some of her burden.
“Let’s not worry about that right now.” I brushed another kiss across her lips and she responded back so sweetly, melting into my side, that I couldn’t help but swoop down again, allowing myself to be bewitched by her soft, plush lips.
I pulled back with a groan. “Stop distracting me.”
“M’not trying to,” she mumbled, following me as I straightened, pouting as it took me out of the range of her kisses.
“Let’s just focus on us for right now,” I suggested. “Not the town or future what-ifs. We’ll take it slow and discuss all that after we see if we work or not.”
“Slow,” she repeated with a frown that suggested she didn’t agree with that at all. Then, “You don’t think we’ll work?”
I wanted us to, more than anything. But I was pretty sure I was Dove’s first in a lot of ways, and she deserved the time to figure out if this was what she wanted. If being withmewas what she wanted—and everything that came with that decision.
“Have you been in a relationship before, Dove?”
She scowled, shifting away from me defensively. “You know I haven’t.”
“No,” I reminded her, giving her a significant look. “I know you hadn’t been with anyone when I left.I don’t know much since then. Which is my point.”
I reached for her, attempting to pull her back to me but she shied away, crossing her arms, her gazing shifting down to focus on the sunshine creeping in across the cement floor.
I released a silent exhale, running my hands through my disheveled hair,needingto fix this.
“Everything you said is valid, Dove, and I agree. I don’t want to jeopardize anything between us—or where we live.” There was plenty more I wanted to say, but I remained silent. She needed time to contemplate what we’d discussed, what we’d done. Dove was stubborn, and nothing I said would change that. I’d said my piece for now. So instead of worrying about what was going through her mind, I started to clean up and put away the tools I’d been using earlier.
The truck needed some minor repairs and a few parts replaced. Simple enough, just time consuming. I’d get on the phone with the local mechanic later and order what I needed. Hopefully have her up and running in a week’s time.
I let myself hum along to the song playing on the radio under my breath, dutifully ignoring the hood of my truck as I tided up, despite the fact it needed a wipe down. How I was supposed to drive the damn thing now knowing I’d had her on it, I didn’t know. Just looking at it conjured the image of her moaning and whimpering,drippingall over it?—
“Fine,” Dove finally relented, breaking my mental replay. “I won’t worry about itfor now. But eventually, Josh, we’ll have to discuss it, figure out what to do.”
“Of course,’ I agreed, wiping away any stray traces of oil (andher) off my hands with a rag. I flipped it over my shoulder and lounged against the worktable, crossing my arms over my chest as I turned my attention to her.
“For now,” she advanced on me, a spark in her eye, “we focus on us.”
