Page 138 of One Indian Girl
‘Would you be? If you were in my place?’ I asked, looking him squarely in the eye.
‘We have our work. We have love. We have excitement. We have friendship. We don’t have the predictability and monotony of a married couple.’
‘You make marriage sound so bad. You are married. The whole world gets married.’
‘Clarify this for me. Do you want to get married? Or are you feeling stressed only because your mother wants you to get married soon?’
‘Eventually I do want to, Neel. How could you think I won’t? I want marriage, kids, family.’
‘Really?’
‘What do you mean, really? I do. I want Sunday IKEA trips with my husband and a whole bunch of kids. I want to wipe my kids’ messy faces when I feed them. I want to bake cookies for them. Yes, yes I do.’
‘Really, Radhika?’ Neel said. He looked at me gobsmacked, as if I had revealed my secret desire to join the ISIS.
‘Yeah. Why?’
‘I thought you were career-minded.’
‘Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?’ I said, my voice ice-cold.
‘Nothing. Let’s talk later. I’ll ask for the bill,’ Neel said and signalled the waiter.
‘No, Neel. Not tonight,’ I said.
We were lying tangled up in my bed. He nuzzled the side of my neck. It signalled that he wanted sex. I shrugged my shoulder, dislodging his lips.
‘Radhika, come here,’ he murmured my name in a persuasive voice.
‘No, Neel,’ I said. ‘I am tired.’
He had come to my apartment four nights in a row this week. I don’t know what story he made up at home. Frankly, I didn’t care. Every night I let him in. We watched TV for a while and we went to bed.
He rebuttoned the shirt of his nightsuit.
‘This is the fourth time you have rejected me,’ he said. He was right. We hadn’t had sex all week.
‘Stop assuming. I am not rejecting anything. I am tired,’ I said.
‘Is it your mother?’ he said.
I shook my head.
‘Is it me?’ he said.
I shook my head.
‘It’s me,’ I said.
‘What?’
‘How could I let myself get into this?’ I said.
‘We love each other, Radhika. Stop making it sound so bad.’
I switched on the night lamp next to me and turned on my side to face him. I lifted myself up to rest on my elbow.
‘Really, Neel?’ I said.
