Sure, not New York. I had a relationship wreck in that city too.
‘I...’ I began to speak as he interrupted me.
‘You can get jobs outside. But please don’t leave the group. We value you. I will never forgive myself.’
‘Is that all you won’t forgive yourself for?’ I said.
He hung his head low. Then he stood up and went to the window. I thought about his proposal for a minute.
‘Fine, I can move to London. But it has to feel like a new job. I don’t want you in my life. At all.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘No common deals. No being in touch. Be gone. Clear?’
‘How can we...’
‘Neel, I am serious. If this is reported, you get into trouble. Not me. You are the boss.’
‘Are you threatening me?’
‘I am saying I am serious. I am going to be a huge mess. I don’t know if I will be able to pick up the pieces again. I don’t want you in my life there. That is why I am leaving.’
‘Okay,’ Neel said in a heavy voice and came back to his seat.
‘Thanks.’
‘Someone from the London office will call you this evening,’ he said.
‘Fine. Can I leave now?’
‘Yeah,’ he said and paused. ‘Radhika?’
‘Yes?’
‘I am sorry.’
‘For?’
‘I am sorry I let you down.’
I stood up to leave.
‘I let myself down, Neel.’
32
Ifelt a lump in my throat as I replayed Hong Kong in my head. My hand holding the breakfast plate trembled. Neel looked at me. My relatives continued to fill the dining room. I drank a glass of water to buy time.
‘Can we talk in private? Please?’ Neel whispered.
‘How, Neel? Can’t you see? I am at my wedding.’
‘I have a room here. Come for a little bit. Please.’
‘How did you get a room? They told us they were full.’
‘It’s not important. Please, fifteen minutes?’