Page 126 of 12 Years

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‘Down to fuck. Get it?’

‘I’m seriously getting old. I don’t know these new-gen acronyms.’

‘Not the point. She wanted you. You should’ve just done it.’

‘But I didn’t see the fit. We weren’t compatible long-term.’

‘First, do it. Then figure out all this performance-review type compatible-long-term stuff.’

‘How?’ I said. ‘I’m not like that. Anyway, since that day, I gave up on dating.’

‘Why, Saket?’ Mudit said.

‘It’s me. Raashi and Payal, in their own ways, burned me badly. Sometimes I think I’ll never have a proper relationship with anyone again. And that’s a bit …’ I trailed off, searching for the right word.

‘Sad? Depressing? Pathetic?’ Mudit said.

‘Yeah, a bit of all of that. Is there a word that combines all three?’

‘Let’s make one—sadepathetic,’ Mudit said.

I laughed.

‘I still think you need to get laid.’

‘I don’t think that’s the answer.’

‘Sadepathetic again. Listen, I have a solution for you.’

‘What?’

‘Have you heard of SBs?’

‘Sorry, but no. Gosh, I’m so outdated.’

‘Sugar babies.’

‘What? Sounds like a girl band.’

Mudit smiled. ‘Nah, it’s something else. You take care of a girl—give her an allowance every month, and in return, she becomes your girlfriend.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘She gives you the benefits of a girlfriend, you understand?’ Mudit winked at me.

‘You mean she has sex with you?’

‘Come on. She makes love to you. Let’s be gentlemen about it.’

‘And I pay her?’

‘To support her, yes. Another gentlemanly thing to do.’

‘Dude, this sounds like hiring a hooker.’

‘Not really. She’s steady and exclusive with you.’

‘A hooker on a subscription plan?’ I said, raising one eyebrow.

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