Page 52 of 12 Years
‘Really?’ Payal said, raising herself up on an elbow and facing me.
‘I want to date you, Payal.’
‘Are you proposing to me? Now? Like this?’
‘Yes. I feel close to you, and I can’t bear the thought of losing you. So, yes, I’m proposing to you. Be my girlfriend, Payal.’
‘I guess I already am, right? What we did was a girlfriend-boyfriend thing.’
‘They do more. Like they sometimes eat Nutella toast together for breakfast, without anyone freaking out.’
She looked at me and smiled. ‘Do you want me to stay over?’ she said.
‘How about staying over forever?’
‘You’re good with lines.’
‘Thank you. I’ll get you an old T-shirt.’
‘Yes, please. Before that, can I ask a stupid question?’
‘Yeah.’
‘What does one do with the condom you were wearing after you’re done?’
I sent Payal a message from the backstage area at the Comedy Club: ‘Nervous.’
‘Remember, good nervous. All the best,’ she replied.
‘Two minutes to go. Keep chatting with me. About anything. It helps.’
‘Okay. Listen, did you order the Surf Excel? And the coffee?’
‘Seriously? We’re talking about groceries now? What are we, a married couple of twenty years?’
‘Ha ha. Focus on the show now. Go kill it.’
My name was announced just then. I put the phone in my back pocket and ran up to stage. ‘Hello,’ I said, facing a packed auditorium. ‘How’s everyone doing?’
‘Great!’ the crowd shouted back in unison.
Wow. An enthusiastic bunch.
‘I’m doing great too. I have a girlfriend now. Been about six months, actually.’
The crowd cheered with claps and whistles.
‘She’s much younger than me though,’ I said. ‘Okay, not that young. She can vote. I think.’
A few scattered laughs.
‘Dating a younger girl is mostly fun. She’s a little crazy and wild sometimes. Once, when we were making out, she asked me to say, “Who’s your daddy?”’
Stray giggles in the crowd.
‘She said she’d read online that this who’s-your-daddy line was a thing for some girls. What’s up with that? Why do some girls like a guy to say that? Is it a Western thing? From Hollywood movies perhaps? Has to be. Because in India, we don’t have this concept. If we did, we could use any of the terms we have for other male relationships here. I mean, we have chacha and mama … right?’
I switched to a seductive tone: ‘Who’s your chachu? Who’s your mamu? Who’s your fufa, baby?’
