Page 173 of 12 Years
‘How did your parents take it?’
‘You know them. They’re older now, but things are still the same. For them, divorce is …’ She stopped mid-sentence.
‘Divorce is what?’
‘Divorce is shameful.’
‘Yeah, that’s the reason why they considered me shameful. Well, one of the many reasons anyway.’
‘It’s not like that, Saket.’
‘Leave it, Payal. It’s in the past. So, one day you said, “I want a divorce,” and that’s it?’
‘No,’ Payal said, sighing deeply. ‘It wasn’t that simple. Lots of drama. Lots of family meetings.’
PAYAL SPEAKS …
‘Idon’t even understand what the problem is,’ Parimal’s father said. ‘I see you guys. You live like any other normal couple.’
Parimal’s parents, my parents, Parimal and I had gathered in my parents’ living room. I had moved back home a month ago after telling Parimal I couldn’t take it anymore. We had lived parallel but separate lives for far too long. It had become normal for an entire week to go by without either one of us exchanging a word. I didn’t see the point of this marriage. Everyone else in the room couldn’t see the point of what I was doing.
‘Papa,’ I said to my father-in-law, ‘there needs to be a connection between husband and wife.’
‘Meaning?’ Parimal’s father said. ‘What does that mean? Connection?’
My mother spoke up. ‘I know why this is happening. There’s no child. If they had one, everything would be solved.’
‘We sent them to the best of doctors,’ Parimal’s father said. ‘Even Dr Aditi is shocked. This shouldn’t have happened. The IVF should’ve worked by now.’
‘I tried it three times. Each time, it was traumatic for me. For Parimal it’s easy—he just masturbates into a cup and is done,’ I said.
‘Payal,’ Mom said angrily. ‘Is this the way to talk in front of your elders?’
‘I’m simply telling you about the procedure. That’s how it works, in case you want that grandchild,’ I said.
‘Payal beta, Parimal is a good boy. I work with him every day in the factory. Trust me, I haven’t seen a more hard-working person. You’ve seen how the business has grown since he joined us. Our margins have doubled too.’
‘I’m not hiring an employee, Dad. I want a husband, not someone who can improve the EBITDA or profit margin. I would rather he didn’t work as hard and gave some time to the relationship.’
‘Like how?’ Parimal’s mother said. ‘Even Jigneshji doesn’t give me time. Neither does Anandji sit and chat with Yashodha for hours. They are husbands. They don’t do connection and heart-to-heart talk.’
‘Yes, Anandji never has time. If I want to talk to someone, I have my kitty group,’ Mom said.
‘I’m sorry if I want more from my husband,’ I said sharply. ‘Am I allowed to do that?’
‘More what?’ Mom said. ‘What more do you want him to be?’
‘I want someone who listens to me. Soothes me with words when I’ve had a stressful day at work.’
‘Why do you even work if it’s stressful? Parimal makes good money now,’ Parimal’s father said.
‘Because I want to work, Papa. Even if it’s stressful sometimes. I just want my partner to support me. Talk to me. Make plans with me, for us. Care about meeting me. And …’
‘And?’ Dad said.
‘And is intimate with me. We aren’t intimate. It’s been two years. Nothing. Parimal is not interested in sex.’
‘This is how she talks to me also, see,’ Parimal said to the parents. Like those kids in school who go complain to the teacher, ‘Look, ma’am, she’s being so mean.’
