Page 198 of 12 Years
‘How so?’ I said, puzzled.
‘I can’t explain it. It would’ve been like this meaningless, crazy, one-night thing you did with your ex. But this spending the night cuddling, eating breakfast together, dropping me back …’ she said and shook her head. ‘It’s a good thing Tania called. Jolted me back to reality. Yes, you’ll be a lot more free after today, after I’m gone.’
‘Is that what all of this is about? Listen, I was just … Forget about Tania, please. She’s not important.’
‘I’ll finish my coffee and leave,’ Payal said, taking a bigger sip.
‘We cool?’
She nodded.
‘I didn’t have sex with you because I was afraid,’ I said.
‘Afraid of what?’ she said, squinting her eyes.
‘I was afraid that if we did it, I would get super attached to you again. That whole emotional, catching-feelings bit … You have that power over me …’
‘Power?’
‘I can’t explain it. I don’t want to get trapped again …’
‘Trapped?’
‘I can’t find the right words. But see, whatever it is, I’m functioning decently in my life now. I have a system that works. I don’t want to get trapped in another decade of pain for a few moments of pleasure. It’s like I fell into a ditch. And it took me ten years to crawl out of it. I’ve barely just managed to stand up, so …’
‘So, you’re worried I’ll push you back into the ditch again? Or wait, amIthe ditch?’
‘No, not like that …’
‘And this “trap” you’re referring to, that’s me, isn’t it? The recently divorced woman who obviously has nothing better to do in life now than to cling on to you,’ she said.
‘No, not like that, Payal. What are you even saying?’
‘Exactly like that. You need to be careful, after all. Anyway,’ she said, ‘why did you ask me to stay over then?’
‘Because I still care for you. You had a rough divorce. You dealt with it all alone. You’ve been through a lot. I wanted to be there for you.’
‘Oh?’ Payal smirked. ‘So, you tookpityon me? Thank you so much, Saket. Thank you for being there for this lonely divorced girl, while also carefully navigating the situation and not having sex with her to make sure that you don’t get trapped. Or fall into a ditch. I’m so grateful.’
Ah, the sarcasm queen was back.
‘Look, I’m saying this all wrong. I wanted to feel close to you too—’
‘But within limits.’
‘I don’t know what is with you. Taking everything the wrong way. Eat something. You’re hungover and cranky.’
‘Yes, the problem is me—lonely, divorced, hungover, cranky, a trap, a ditch. Anything else to add to that list?’
‘Payal, stop it. What happened to you? Was it Tania’s call?’
‘I finally woke up and came to my senses, I guess,’ Payal said. ‘Anyway, thanks for all the support on the deal. And for showing me around Dubai. But now the assignment is over. I’ll go change and order myself a cab. You’re free to return to your calls and your decently functioning lifestyle or whatever.’
Before I could try to stop her, Payal ran up the stairs. She came back down in ten minutes, having changed into her clothes. The Uber she’d booked had already arrived at the porch.
‘Take care, Saket. It was nice working with you,’ she said, getting into the cab.
‘We’ll be in touch, right?’ I said.
