Page 19 of Loved Out Loud
“You’ll find a rhythm,” Xander tells her confidently. “It took us a while to get used to all the fans at first. It’s not a normal feeling to have people gushing about something that’s so natural to you.”
“Speak for yourself,” Tobias says with a smirk. “I’ve always loved people worshipping me.”
“Not everyone is an egomaniac like you,” Jade teases.
“It is definitely new territory for me,” Hazel says. “I’m used to having my work torn apart by my peers and professors. Having people gushing to me about how much they enjoyed my work is wildly different.”
“You went to Columbia, right?” I ask.
“Yes. For both my bachelors and masters degrees.”
“In writing?”
“Yes.” She looks down at her lap, a shadow crossing behind her eyes.
I want to dig in and find out why she looks so sad and resigned all of a sudden. Who put that look on her face? Or what? Instead I do the only thing I can, change the subject.
“I read your book.”
She blinks, as if shocked I would. “Really?”
“Yeah. In one go. It completely sucked me in.” I give her the smile I reserve for when I need to be my most charming. “You look so surprised.”
“I am.”
“That I can read?”
It’s a joke, but she pales. “No, no. Of course you can read.”
“I was kidding.”
“I just wouldn’t have thought you’d be into a romance, especially an MM romance.”
I chuckle. “Are you calling me a bigot?”
“Oh my god,” she slams a palm over her mouth in mortification. “No.” She shakes her head vehemently. “I didn’t mean it like that at all. I’m so sorry.”
“Leave her alone,” Xander shoves my shoulder. “Ignore his ass.”
“And, for the record. we’re all a little gay,” Tobias says.
Her brows shoot up at that. “Like together?”
“Fuck no,” Xander says. “I wouldn’t touch these two with a ten-foot pole, but we’re all bi.”
I watch her face as the information settles in. It’s not something we’ve openly shared, but if she’s around for the whole tour, she’ll definitely witness Tobias with other guys. He sleeps with men the most frequently, whereas Xander and I have enjoyed group activities with other men in the past. It’s not something we’re embarrassed by or anything.
She looks at Jade. “What about you?”
“I wish I was attracted to women. Unfortunately, I’m just not.”
“Jade isn’t even attracted to men. She only wants demons from the seventh level of hell,” Xander says.
“You would be able to identify your own kind, wouldn’t you?” she sasses back at him.
Darren puts his arm up. “Don’t start.” He finally sets his phone down. “Let’s talk about how everything went this weekend.”
We do this after every tour stop. Check in with each other and plan for the next few days, discuss little changes that should be made. I keep an eye on Hazel as we talk logistics about the show, little things that could be made more efficient. She takes it all in without speaking until Darren turns his attention to her.
