Page 51 of Loved Out Loud
“We formed the idea of the band our first semester at Juilliard.”
Her head pops up. “Juilliard?”
“Yeah. I don’t know if you knew this, but we’re musically talented, not just insanely attractive.”
She slaps me in the stomach. “Super humble, too. Do you play more than the guitar and piano?”
“Yeah. I also play the violin, flute, and kick ass on the tambourine. That’s probably where my true calling is,” I joke, living for her quiet laughter against my chest.
“What about Xander?”
“He is incredible on the saxophone and harmonica. We’re trying to get some tracks with the harmonica on the next album, but the label is hesitant.”
“Why? You guys are classically trained musicians, you should leverage all that knowledge and skill to add depth to your work.”
“I agree, but the label likes our trademark sound. It earns them fuck tons of cash, so the artistic side can get fucked according to them.”
“That’s so shortsighted.”
“Agreed.”
“What about Tobias?”
“We left Juilliard after our first year to start the band and put out feelers for a drummer. One of our friends knew a friend with a cousin who played drums and set up a meeting. We all clicked, it was instant. That night felt like there was an electric current connecting the three of us. We jammed in my parent’s guest house for twelve hours straight, and that was the beginning of Blue Sunday.”
What I don’t tell her is that I feel that same type of electricity whenever I’m with her. I knew the three of us were meant to form our band then. And I know there’s something about the chemistry between Hazel and I that means something. Something bigger than I think either of us were expecting.
Our conversation remains mostly on safe topics until gradually she begins to drift off. Laying here with her feels so right, so comfortable. Once her breathing evens out and I know she’s asleep, I lean my head down and press a kiss to her forehead. If I had my way, she’d be in my room the rest of the tour.
I’ve never felt this way about a woman. Ever. I’m not letting her get away, even if I have to play the long game. Hazel Archer is mine.
I woke up with an aching back this morning, so Anya is focusing most of our workout on gentle and deep stretching. She watches me like a hawk, her pale blue eyes locked on my every move.
“Why are you so stiff today?” She frowns at my lack of flexibility.
“I fell asleep on the chaise lounge on the balcony last night.” And I regret nothing. Waking up to the feeling of Hazel still being in my arms was every-fucking-thing.
“That was a poor choice.”
I chuckle, my abs trembling while I hold the position she contorted me into. The burning stretch feels as good as it hurts. My amusement must irritate her because she doesn’t go easy on me for the rest of the session. She threatens me with an extreme session the next time she sees me if I do something like fall asleep on the balcony again.
I don’t mind the pain, if I’m being completely honest. It reminds me that I’m still here. That my addiction didn’t win. So yeah, I’ll take the pain and be grateful.
After she leaves I check the time to see how long before we need to leave for sound check. I have just enough time for a quick shower, so I turn the water on and strip down while it warms.
The warm spray of water feels so good that I groan. Thoughts of last night filter back through my mind as I shampoo my hair. Hazel said her first attempt was when she was eleven. That’s so young, my heart aches for her. I hope she feels comfortable enough to continue to open up to me.
If I ever meet her father, it’s on sight. I don’t care. He deserves nothing but the deepest pits of hell for what he did toher. Same for Greg actually. The shit he wrote in that email was such thinly veiled jealousy it would be funny if it didn’t hurt her as much as it did.
Adam is waiting in the living room when I finish dressing and come out of the bedroom. I’m surprised Darren or Jade isn’t also in here, snooping around to make sure I’m still sober. I don’t mind it, and I understand why they do what they do, but it does sting just a bit. Trust is earned, and I’m starting from a deep deficit.
Seventeen
HAZEL
Jade textedme this morning to let me know that she’d be coming with me to sign stock at some of the local chain bookstores today. It’s not a meet and greet signing, but it’s still nice to know I'll have company coming with me. Especially when I know that person will be able to capture a lot of great videos and pictures for me to use on my socials.
I used her content from the Toronto signing to make several videos that went viral on multiple platforms, and Sierra reached out to let me know that the publisher noticed a spike and was pleased with the performance of my book.
