Page 58 of Loved Out Loud
“I know,” I whisper even though I’m back in my room.
“Are you still in his room?”
“No.” I force myself to speak up. “I’m back in mine. I just can’t believe it happened.”
“Was it good? Or was it disappointing? I always thought athletes would be amazing lays, but then I matched that basketball player on Raya, and he was the worst. Maybe it’s a fame thing and it makes them lazy.”
“Stone is definitely not lazy. I came. Multiple times.”
“So he’s better than Greg.” I can hear the satisfaction in her voice.
“Everyone’s different.” I don’t know why I continue to defend him. “I took off all my clothes.”
Stunned silence greets me on the other end of the line. “Oh, honey.” I swear her voice quivers. “That’s huge. Does he know how big of a step that was?”
“Yeah. I told him about my father and then the suicide attempts. He’s been amazing.”
She sniffs.
“Are you crying?”
“No.” She’s definitely crying. “It’s just so huge for you. Being open and vulnerable is such a big step.”
“It is. Somehow he just makes me feel safe. And seen.” Part of me wants to fight this feeling though, because it can’t last. I’m probably just some flavor of the week for him. “I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.”
“Good. You deserve all the orgasms and princess treatment.”
I steer the conversation in the direction of work and fill her in on the bookstore visits I did yesterday. We’ve decided to add more visits like them into my schedule because it’s great PR and doesn’t drain me like meet and greet signings.
After we get off the phone, I check in with Mom and Grams. I miss them both more acutely every day that I’m away from them. At some point I might have to fly home for a couple days to see them. It was wild for me to think I’d be okay being away from them for this long.
Once I’ve spent enough time procrastinating, I sit down at the desk determined to knock out a chapter before tonight. The words flow from me like a dam burst in my brain. I work through lunch without realizing it. It’s not until I stand up to stretch that I notice the time.
I have twenty minutes to get ready for the concert.
A glance in the mirror gives me the confidence to go with just the barest hint of makeup today. Not for the first time I find myself thanking whatever deity listens for a best friend whoknows fashion and is happy to help me pick and choose clothes that work together.
I open the door just as Dan raises his fist to knock. He smiles and steps back so I can exit. Down the hall I hear Stone’s door open and see him walk through it carrying his guitar. His lips quirk upwards when he sees me.
Butterflies take flight in my stomach as he walks toward me. We didn’t discuss how we’d act around each other, and even though it’s just Dan and Adam around us currently, I don’t want to overstep.
He puts those thoughts to rest when he sets down the case and immediately brings both of his hands to my face. I smile back at him as he tilts his head and takes my lips with his own. As soon as his tongue slides inside my mouth, I forget all about the two men standing in the hall with us.
He licks into my mouth like he wants my taste on his tongue all night. I lean into him, letting my hands travel up and down his sculpted torso. We’re so tangled up together that I don’t even hear anyone else approach until a throat clears.
“Jesus Christ, get a room,” Xander says, but there’s humor in his voice as we end the kiss.
“Fuck you,” Stone says with no heat.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” His eyes rake over me. “Let me know if you want to try the two-for-one special sometime.”
My cheeks heat as I flush a deep pink. It’s not all from embarrassment, though. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be with two normal men at once, let alone these two larger than life rock stars.
“I’m not sharing her.” Stone picks up his guitar and wraps his arm around my waist. “Are you going to watch from backstage tonight?”
The look in his eyes as he waits for my answer makes anxiety swim in my stomach. I’m so embarrassed by how easily I cry at concerts. I don’t understand it, and as much as I wish it would, it’s not something that seems to be going away. If anything, the closer I get to the guys, the harder the tears fall.
“I don’t know,” I finally say. “There’s still a few other places I haven’t experienced the show from yet.”
