Page 63 of Loved Out Loud
“Sleeping.”
“Good. I’ll leave, too, then. Have a good night.” She gives me a brief hug and walks herself out.
After turning the lights out, I walk into my bedroom and toss the towel aside before climbing in beside Hazel. She rolls toward me, curling her warm, soft body around mine without ever waking. I fight sleep, wanting to revel in the feel of her in my arms for as long as I have her.
Hazel is still asleep as I watch the sunrise through the window. This is the third night in a row that I’ve slept with her in my arms. It’s also the third night in a row that I haven’t had trouble sleeping.
No one has ever given me this feeling of peace before. I press a kiss to her head and let my fingertips dance over her smooth skin. Every touch is light enough to not wake her while still filling my need for connection.
A wave of inspiration hits, so I grab my phone and open the notes app, filling it with possible lyrics. I’ve never had a muse before now. It’s easy to see why so many creatives make their best work while having one. I’ve scrawled so many lines of lyrics all over during this tour, in notebooks, on receipts, anywhere or anything accessible is fair game.
Hazel and sobriety are the only two things that have changed. Sobriety is definitely the reason for my clear and levelheadedness, but the creative rush I have? That’s all her.
Since I have my phone in my hand, I decide to scroll for a bit. That idea proves to be a mistake because I immediately see that not only have I gone viral, so has Hazel. As Jade said last night, most coverage is positive. But the inevitable wave of backlash has started to crest now, too.
I read through several of the articles bringing up incidents from the past suggesting I’m violent. Those get an eye roll from me. It’s the articles calling into question my sobriety that feel like a gut punch.
I’ve worked so hard to battle addiction, and now because I defended someone who means everything to me they think I’m back sliding? Plus my family is going to read this and start worrying again. As soon as Hazel wakes, I’ll have to call them.
Twenty-One
HAZEL
Embarrassment swirlsinside me as I climb onto the bus. Part of me wants to just hide in my bunk, but that would be cowardly. I have to apologize and thank everyone before I even think about hiding myself away.
Stone has been amazing. A rock for me, no pun intended, since I woke and all the memories came flooding back in. After an exhausting FaceTime call with Mom and Grams, I’m nearing my limit for human interaction.
Darren looks up at me from his usual perch at the dinette table. His expression is solely one of concern as he gives me an up and down appraisal. “How are you feeling?”
“Physically? I’m okay, just a little bit sore.”
“And other than physically?”
It’s an odd feeling to have his attention wholly on me. I’m so used to seeing him split it between whoever he’s speaking withand his phone. But he set his phone down as soon as he inquired about me.
“So embarrassed.” I feel my cheeks turn pink. “I’m sorry you had a mess to deal with because of me.”
“None of what happened last night is your fault. Some crowds are more violent than others. We could all tell from the beginning that was the case last night. Long before the incident with you occurred.”
“Thank you,” I say quietly. “But still. Knowing that Stone dropped down to help me when he could have re-injured himself makes me feel terrible.”
“He’s the healthiest I’ve ever seen him. Don’t worry too much about it.”
The sound of heavy footsteps coming up the steps draws both of our attention. I see Tobias first, and as soon as we lock eyes, his light up with relief. I barely have time to take a breath before I’m swept up into his arms and lifted off my feet.
“You’re okay,” he says as he rocks us back and forth. “Don’t ever do that again.”
Before I can reply he passes me to Xander.
“Yeah, no excuses from now on, you’re sitting pretty on the side of the stage.”
“I don’t want to be in the way.”
“You won’t be.” Stone pulls me from Xander and collapses to the couch with me in his lap. “Now be a good girl and tell us why you never want to watch from backstage.”
I run my hands over my face. “It’s embarrassing.”
“We won’t laugh,” Tobias says. “Fuck, you know I get the nervous shits if I eat before a show. You owe me an embarrassing piece of knowledge.”
