Page 85 of Loved Out Loud
“Tell your mom I’ll be right there.”
“Oh.” Her brow furrows. “Alright.” She disappears back into the house.
Dad looks at me like a puzzle he can’t figure out. A mild inconvenience he needs to brush off as soon as possible. “Do you need money or something?”
“What?” I scoff. “I don’t need money.”
The door opens behind him again, this time it’s a woman I’ve never seen. She must be his wife, the woman I refused to look at. She’s beautiful, in a generic sort of way. Blonde hair cut into a bob, hazel eyes, and tall with a willowy figure. Basically the exactopposite of my mother. Her eyes flare in surprise when she sees me, immediate recognition showing in them.
“Oh. Goodness.” She steps forward. “Hazel?—”
Dad thrusts his hand out in front of her. “I’ll be in momentarily.”
She presses her lips together in annoyance but meets my eyes once more with a slight nod.
He waits until she closes the door behind him. “You need to leave.”
“I want to know my siblings.”
“No.”
“Do they even know I exist?”
“No.”
Tears burn at the back of my eyes. He’s still an absolute asshole. Any naive hope I held onto that maybe he regretted his choices evaporates into the sweltering midwest heat.
“You’re an awful human being,” I tell him as I turn to go back to the car.
“This was always your choice.”
I pivot right back around. “I was a child,” I tap my chest for emphasis. “You cheated on my mother, your wife. You can tell yourself whatever lies you want, but I know the truth, and they deserve to know they have an older half sister you’ve kept secret.”
“Stay away from my children, Hazel.”
“Fuck you,” I say over my shoulder as I walk to where Dan jumps out of the SUV and holds my door open, climbing in the backseat behind me.
I keep my attention on the tinted glass to my left as I fight back my tears with all that I have. I’ve given him too many over the years to waste them now. My gut said not to do this, that I’d just end up hurt and rejected again. The first tear finally falls, burning down my skin as I angrily swipe it away. Dan places asmall pack of tissues on my thigh but remains quiet for the rest of the drive back to the hotel.
The suite is silent when I get back. Stone’s absence feels like a yawning chasm in the space he usually fills. I drop my purse on the table and cross the living room to the second bedroom we’ve left empty. Not bothering to close the blinds, I strip down to my shirt and panties before crawling under the covers.
The light fades as I lie there alternating between anger and hollow sadness. Normally when I feel like this, I’d talk to Mom. That’s out of the question. The last thing I want to do is hurt her, which knowing I went to see him would do.
The sky is dark by the time I hear the door to the suite open. Stone calls out my name, but I can’t summon the energy to call out. I hear him walk into the bedroom we use, the sound of light switches flipping on and then off. His heavy footsteps cross the living area and come toward the room I’m in.
“Hazel?” he whispers, obviously unsure if I’m asleep.
“Hey,” I reply without looking over my shoulder at him.
“What’s wrong?”
I shake my head, too afraid to speak and start crying again.
He climbs onto the bed behind me, snaking one arm under the pillow beneath my head and wrapping the other around my waist. “I’m here when you’re ready. I’m not going anywhere.”
I roll over into his embrace, letting the tears fall and soak into the cotton of his shirt. His lips ghost over my forehead as his arms flex around me. Laying here in his arms feels like the safest place to land after the turbulent emotions of the day. He stays true to his word, just remaining a silent source of comfort for me.
Once I’ve cried out all my tears, I ease away far enough to speak.
