Page 111 of Loved Out Loud
Guilt coats my insides. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have indulged myself like that.”
“Don’t apologize. I obviously haven’t known you long, but it’s been clear from the first moment I met you how important your family is. Sudden loss is hard.”
“It is.”
He backs out of the bathroom and closes the door behind himself. I turn on the water in the shower, letting the water heat to just short of boiling before stripping down and stepping into the spray. I’m immediately assaulted with the memories of the last shower I took. With Stone.
I’ve talked to him multiple times a day, and he’s sent flowers and gifts every day. I miss him so much, and I haven’t bothered to hide that fact from him. Honestly, if he had been here with me, I might have been coping better. Not that I’m angry or upset with him. He has obligations and not following through with them could mean the loss of money for massive amounts of people. I don’t want that.
I shower and get ready in a fugue state. I don’t really remember doing everything I had to get done before showing up at the chapel in the retirement center Grams lived at. All her friends are already sitting around the room, probably more excited about the cake and punch than celebrating Grams’s life. But this is commonplace for them; you get older and losing people becomes an everyday occurrence.
I’m chatting with the couple that lived next door to her when a shadow falls over me. As soon as I look up, I’m met with eyes that once felt so familiar to me but now feel like a stranger’s. Greg squeezes my shoulder, a sympathetic frown on his face.
“Hi.” I stand, excusing myself from Gram’s friends.
“I’m so sorry about Beverly.” He leads me out onto the terrace and pulls me into his arms. “I know how close you were.”
My body stiffens in his embrace. The last time we spoke, we didn’t leave each other on good terms, and I’m not entirely comfortable with this contact. Everything about it feels so wrong.
I manage to get him to drop his arms, and then I take a step back, putting some distance between us. “Thank you. I didn’t expect to see you.”
“Sierra told me about everything.”
“Really?”
He nods. “I hate the way we left things in Chicago. Neither of us were thinking clearly; I’d been traveling all day. You’d been working and out with the girls. I’m not holding any negative feelings about it.”
“Okay.”
He waits as if he wants me to reciprocate, but when I don’t he continues. “Now isn’t the best time to talk about this. Can we get lunch this week?” He steps toward me again and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.
Dan walks out onto the terrace and takes note of where Greg’s touching me. His biceps bulge as he crosses his arms, a stern look on his face.
“Listen, Greg. I appreciate you coming today, and everything you’ve done for me. I wouldn’t be half the writer I am without your mentorship, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to continue like we have been.”
A muscle in his jaw twitches. “What?”
“I just don’t think our situation makes sense anymore.”
“Because you jumped into bed with a rock star?” He scoffs and turns away, his hands resting on his hips.
I start to walk past him and go back inside when he grabs my wrist. Dan immediately clocks the contact and starts forward, only stopping when I wave him off. I want to handle this on my own.
“Where is he at right now? I certainly don’t see him anywhere. I can guarantee you he’s probably balls deep in a groupie right now. The last person he’s thinking about is the quiet, chubby, writer who tagged along on their tour.”
Writer.
He can’t even bring himself to call me what I am.
“Author. I’m an author. You’re so twisted up with jealousy that I’ve succeeded in years doing what you haven’t even in decades. What does the future hold for Stone and me? I’m not sure, maybe we’ll be together forever or maybe just for a short time. He has taught me one thing, though, that I deserve to be loved out loud. That whoever my partner is should want nothing but success for me.” I wince as his grip on me tightens to the point of pain. “And guess what? He literally sings my praises. He stands up on stage in front of tens of thousands of people and tells them I’m his girl.”
“You’re going to feel so stupid when you realize it was all for show.”
“It’s not for show. Now let me go.”
“Don’t come crawling to me when he drops you like you meant nothing.”
Dan joins me as soon as he steps off the terrace. He lifts my hand to look at the red marks left behind. “Just so we’re clear, I’m never letting that guy within twenty feet of you again.”
