Page 43 of Deadly Ruck
"Is that why you work out so much?" she asked gently. "Because you can't keep still?"
I glanced around to see the guys all looking out the window, not listening to our whispered conversation. I swallowed and turned back to Chelsea.
"I work out a lot because I never liked what I saw in the mirror. I always felt like I was… bigger than I should be. When I was a kid, I was, and it stuck with me. No matter how much I worked out, it never felt like enough."
I looked down to my knees. "Then it got to be a habit and an obsession. Now, if I don't do it I might go crazy."
"You know your perception isn't accurate, right?" she asked. "Your body is incredible. I know I've told you tons of times not to overdo it. If you do, you could give yourself a permanent injury." She sounded every bit the doctor, but the concerned girlfriend at the same time.
"Is this where you tell me I need therapy?" I asked.
"Do you think you need it?" She placed a hand on my knee.
I didn't want to answer that, but I finally managed a nod. "I guess I do. Before it goes too far."
"We all need help sometimes," she said. "Even big, badass mafia dudes like you. Even badass rugby dudes. It's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I could use some professional help myself, especially after last night. And today. Maybe we could go together?" She squeezed my knee.
"That's a good idea." I put my arm around her and pulled me to her, holding her close while we watched the landscape slide past. We'd be back in Dusk Bay in an hour or so, back to reality.
Right then, I just wanted to enjoy a quiet moment while it lasted.
Chapter Nineteen
Chelsea
"I don't knowabout you, but I'm exhausted." I rubbed a hand over my eyes and brushed hair off my face.
"Me too," Frost agreed. He carried my bag inside before placing it down on the floor and putting his arms around me. "I got a few minutes of sleep while Storm was driving, but I dreamt about you." He nestled his face down into my neck. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."
I leaned against him, drawing comfort from his firm, warm body. "I didn't think I'd see any of you again either. When I saw the cottage explode…" I sniffled, not caring if tears trickled down my cheeks. No one could blame me for crying right now, not even me.
"It takes more than a little explosion to take us out," he said lightly.
I leaned back and looked up at him. "You must have been scared. You came so close to…" I sniffed again.
He brushed the pad of his thumb over my cheek, wiping away a tear. "Okay, I admit it. I was scared. A couple of metres closer and we would have been barbecue. I like a good barbecue as much as the next guy, but I don't want to be on the menu." He managed a lopsided smile.
I gave him a watery smile in response. "I don't want you to be on the menu either. Not like that."
"Oh really?" One of his eyebrows rose. "How do you want me on the menu?"
"Same question," Storm said. He came to stand beside us and put his arms around both of us. He looked even more exhausted than I felt. Neither of them, or Ramsey, got any sleep the night before. The rest of us were lucky, in an unlucky way. I hadn't slept much, but a little bit was better than nothing. After this, I might sleep for a month. Why not? I had nothing else to do.
"Why don't we start with a bite to eat and a shower?" I suggested. "We're going to need our rest. No doubt we were going to be fielding a shit ton of questions about Carlos Jones."
Reuben Brantley was going to want to know everything in detail. My brother would handle most of it, for now at least. Until Reuben had questions he didn't know the answers to.
"I'll order something to eat," Atlas said as he and Jay stepped in from the garage.
"Not so fast," Storm said. "I, for one, want to know what the fuck you were playing at?" He stepped away from me and Frost and crossed his arms.
Atlas rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "What is there to know? I've been working for the Brantley family for years, you know that."
"I also know you turned your back on us out at the cottage. You let that prick take Chelsea away." Storm looked ready to take aim, regardless of what Atlas said.
"I gave us all the best chance of surviving," Atlas said unapologetically. "If things went down any differently, you really would be dead right now. If you were dead, you couldn't have told Ice and the others what happened." His gaze bore into Storm, daring him to disagree.
Storm returned the look. "You seemed very chummy with Jones."
