Page 22 of Eat My Moon Dust
Swallowing hard, I prepared for the humiliation of just how far I’d fallen. Bajora and I were constantly at odds, but it was out of a shared investment in helping the humans recover from their abduction experiences. He had a casual rosy outlook on how things should go, while I was all about securing infrastructure and vigilance. The others mostly followed Bajora’s point of view, which wasn’t surprising. We all knew just how much they’d lost, and it was our duty to protect and support them. Even if we were prickly with each other.
Even if I was prickly withthem…
“Wasting disease,” I admitted thickly. “For half an orbit or so.”
Bajora swore, kicking his bag into the shelves with a loud hiss.
I’d been careful, taking supplements and eating well, but the truth was that pheromones alone could only hold a coil for so long. The long phallic tendril at the back of my neck, known as asenticotylus,had been neglected for years. Dabbing a drop or two of Corsa’s pheromones on it was like eating empty food to make my stomach feel full even if I wasn’t getting the nutrition I needed to survive. I’d felt it in my bones for at least a couple years, watching my tendrils shrivel in the mirror. It was brought on by an unrequited coil, in which partners didn’t embrace or feed their tastes and sensations to each other.
Lethargy set in, and a few months ago, my pearl production began to wane. The reservoir at the base of my cock produced one or two per day that were a quarter of the size of a healthy coil. Most days, I couldn’t even relieve them. When I’d confessed this to Ezra at the clinic the day before, he’d subjected me to blood tests that came back positive. The dissolving pearls in my sac were poisoning my endocrine system.
I wasn’t just on hectaconorphine for the coil withdrawal. I was taking antibiotics while an implant in my thigh regulated my chances of sepsis.
“That parasiticpriyaof yours has a lot to answer for, you know,” Bajora hissed.
“Zufi is visiting Ezra and Mel this week,” I said, getting to my feet. Every joint in my body ached, every muscle depleted. I leaned on the table and took a deep breath. “I have a lot to do if I want to prove I should stay. Imani and Vin will vouch for me.”
Wide-eyed, Bajora shook his head. “No,” he said, shocked. “It’s not gonna work. Zufi doesn’t give a shit. He wants hukaari spats running around by the dozens. Full integration. It doesn’t matter how much pressure the security team puts on him, he’s going to kick you out anyway.”
I bit my cheek until I tasted coppery blood.
“I know it’s a stretch, but maybe–”
Bajora grabbed me by the elbow and hauled me up to look at him. His expression was hard-lined and intense, tendrils writhing with desperation. “You need a new coil,syali.”
My colleague never called me older brother like the others. Heat raced over my skin, not embarrassment so much as unworthiness. I pulled my arm out of his grip and picked up his bag. He followed me, all four palms open to the ceiling.
“You know it’s the easiest solution. And it’s not hard!” he pleaded. “At least go on adatewith someone. Something to make Zufi hold off.”
“What about my spats?” I challenged, setting his things on the shelf with his name on it. That’s when I saw the blood on the back of my hand. I picked out the little piece of metal wiring stuck between my knuckles and rubbed the blood away on the side of my coveralls. “I can’t throw them into more coil drama when they’ve been with me for less than two days. They can barely look at me as it is.”
“At least take them to the playfield,” Bajora begged. “Make sure some humans know your name andsmilewhen they see you. If you care about Renata at all, you’ll suck it up and do it. And don’t you dare say you have work to do. If you don’t figure out how to convince Zufi to renew your contract, you won’t have any work at all.”
“Ssshit.”Resignation pulled on my features. I sat with a heavy exhale at my workbench. Bajora’s aim was true, and the words cut straight through me.
None of this mattered if I didn’t keep my contract.
Maybe… maybe while Zufi was in town, I could ask Marcella and Imani to set me up on a couple of blind dates. My wavering vision descended to my murky stripes, and I knew, deep down, that it wouldn’t be enough.
But Bajora was right. My only options were to give up ortry.Otherwise, some horny golden boy would be sitting atmyworkbench come next satbit, drooling over human women instead of paying attention to security and work orders.
I stood up, faking more energy than I felt, and gave him a tight smile. “You’re right. Ezra cleared their vaccines this morning, and I need a break anyway.”
Relieved, Bajora’s mane settled, slipping over his shoulders. “Atta boy.”
08
?TINSLEY?
“So why are we at the playfield?” Omi asked as I kicked a few rocks out of my way, snapped open a blanket, and draped it across the ground.
“Oh, you know. To watch the kids play,” I said, panting and distracted. I glanced up at the footpath from the home towers a dozen times, hoping to look like I’d been here for a while before Hunar showed up with his kids.
After marching away from Hunar, I’d brushed past Bajora on the verge of tears and he’d given me a confused look. It had been embarrassing. I was being immature, reactionary, taking things too personally. So I’d gathered my courage, and decided I’d ask Bajora about some help instead. But by the time I’d dried my eyes and reached the lockers again, I’d heard their voices through the shelves.
What Hunar was going through sounded horrible. Sure, he’d yelled at me, but maybe I wasn’t so graceful about it all either. I’d assumed he thought I was yippy and annoying, when the truth was so much more complex. I couldn’t imagine how tired he was. Three weeks to put a roof over your kids heads and move while suffering from heartbreak and withdrawal? I’d be catatonic.
So here I was, giving him the benefit of the doubt. I’d smile and greet him by name. Maybe I’d tell him how strong he looked, or how cute his kids were. He needed a confidence boost.
