Page 43 of Eat My Moon Dust
Siatesh smiled into his food, taking hold of one of her long box braids with his tendrils as if they were holding hands. Every time he reached for her, my heart melted. He was a standoffish kinda guy, but as sweet as molasses where Omi was concerned.
I put my hands on my hips and chewed my lip, dipping my spoon into the chili as I began to pace.My stomach was in knots. I couldn’t imagine Hunar acting with me the way Siatesh did with Omi. What if this was too awkward? What if he kept postponing our next lunch meeting because he didn’t want to see me? Had I royally screwed our first Christmas?
Whenever energetic anxiety like this hit me back home, I always made bagels from scratch. They were a low hydration dough that made my arms burn. Kneading the crap out of them was like meditation. It centered me in ways that other activities couldn’t.
But I couldn’t! Not here with the stupid food bays and the stupid lack of ingredients or, hell, even ovens to play pretend! I couldn’t knead bagel dough or glaze donuts or mix apple pie filling with my bare hands. Damnit, it was so maddening!
My foot rolled over something hard, and I squeaked, flailing for balance. I stepped aside and picked up a crackedbirianut. Its insides were creamy white, cushioned by the aubergine shell falling off in shards in my palm.
“Watstakats…”
I stared at it in wonder.
It lookedexactlylike an acorn inside.
And acorns?
They were used by my Cree ancestors to make flour.
“You may want to wash your hands,” Siatesh noted. “Those are poisonous, particularly raw.”
My heart started racing for an entirely different reason.
“Poisonous for who?”
Siatesh tilted his head. But I was already on the move. I gave Mr Sayeb a kiss on the forehead and ran down the hill towards the clinic, a handful of nuts crushed in my palm.
16
?HUNAR?
After sending Tinsley a comm about skipping today’s lunch, I blew out a breath and brushed back my tendrils with a shaky upper hand, my lower elbows pressing divots into the dining room table. I’d spent twenty minutes massaging that stupid fucking message.
Taking a personal day.
Before, it would have taken me seconds. Before, it wouldn’t have mattered how my tone came across. Before, I wouldn’t have even considered giving her a heads up.
My fingers gripped my mane with biting strength. I’d forgotten what a new coil was like.
Anxious, impatient, scattered.
Electric, scorching, constantly hard.
Even for a human hurricane that had been a royal pain in my ass formonths.
There was no way I could face her today. I needed a buffer or else the moment I saw her, I’d push her up against my locker and do something we’d both regret. It had been years since I’d felt a fresh coil, and they’d never beenanythinglike this. Tinsley had knocked open my instincts with a battering ram and the implications of being absolutely willing and ready to fuck a bouncy ball of absolute annoyance like Tinsley was more than my brittle personality could handle just then.
Because I would. Handle her, that is. With all of my hands and tendrils. If Tinsley gave me even an inch today–one of those little smiles that made her button nose scrunch up, or a bouncy wave hello–I’d tear her clothes off in front of the entire hangar and find out just exactly how much pressure it would take to leave marks on her skin.
My tendrils would leave marks no matter how gently I bound her limbs. Human flesh looked so delicate. Would my marks be the same color as her blood? Rich, bright crimson like my stripes… The thought was satisfying on a base level. But no. No, she’d look like when we got into a fight. Her cheeks would flush with that deep, dusty pink and her skin would grow hot and slick. How far would that blush go? What did her chest look like? Humans were mammals. Did that mean all of the human women were walking around with buttons on their chests like yiwreni? What would hers taste like? If we had another brood, would her chest swell and drip with–
I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, shoring up my strength of will. These were all questions I’d never answer. Building a wall in my mind, I chanted to myself the mantra I would need to live by for the next few weeks.
It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.
I just needed one day to catch my bearings. Then her taste would thoroughly coat my tendrils and I’d have enough control to be civil. Still a mess, just not a feral mess.
She was so small though… One of the smallest human adults in the colony. I was the shortest among the delegates, and even I towered over her. Fuck me, but if Ididlose control, I could really do some damage. What was she thinking, putting herself in jeopardy like that? Didn’t she know how dangerous I was to her? How much I wanted to wrap mysentiaround her throat and force her to admit that I was the best, the only, the–
