Page 45 of Eat My Moon Dust
I squeezed my eyes shut at Tahavir’s lewd finger motions. “No.”
“Then how did you–”
I coughed. Loudly. “Look, I know your lives have sucked lately. I don’t have a lot of practice being your baan. It’s okay if you love and miss your maan, even if I don’t, and there’s no pressure here for you to pretend that you like me right now. Or ever.” I pointed at all three of them, catching their eyes with intensity. “But I do need you to pretend that this thing Tinsley and I are trying out is real, even though it’s not. She’s a nice person trying to help us stay here in Renata, and that’s it. There won’t be any adult sleepovers or new broods or distractions. We’re going into this as a family. Ateam.I want to be crystal fucki–ah,fudgingclear about that. Got it?”
“Got it,” the boys echoed together, their eyes shining with excitement.
“I don’t.” Reha tapped her fingers on the table, a crease in her brow. “I mean, how can it be fake? Look at your colors, Baan. It’s not like you painted them on or something.”
I looked down at myself, mysentisliding over my shoulder, tasting the table absently. “The coil is physically real, but we aren’t in a relationship. Strictly professional.”
Yeah right.If the two hours I’d spent before dawn cleaning the bathroom floor were any indication, I’d flushed professionalism down the shower drain along with nearly a dozen pearls.
“Then all the normal stuff we learned in school applies, doesn’t it?” Reha asked. “You’ll have a bad temper and spend all your time with her.”
My instinct was to deny it, but I couldn’t lie to them. “Spending time? No. It’s not real, remember? We aren’t…” I opened my mouth, then closed it, choking on the words.
“Having sex?” Reha asked.
Did shil girlsreallylearn about this stuff so early? I winced and nodded, my colors flaring instinctually. “Right. But the temper thing, I don’t know. It’s been a long time since I went through this, and I’ve been around the block. If I get territorial, it’ll be about Tinsley’s attention, not you guys fighting over the bathroom.” I winced, forcing my next words out. “Do you guys have any… questions?”
Please,pleasedon’t have questions.
“Yeah, what should we call her when we’re pretending?”
I turned my lower palms up on the table as I sat back in my chair. “You can just call her Tinsley if you want. She won’t be insulted by that.”
Ladh hummed thoughtfully, crossing his arms as Tahavir perked up. “What about yoursenti?Why is it so long, Baan?”
I blinked at them with confusion, then shuffled in my seat awkwardly. “Your maan never told you?” All three of my spats shook their heads.
“Told us what?” Reha asked nervously. Her tendrils slipped behind her shoulders. “Is it hereditary? Contagious?”
I chuckled bitterly, pressing my tongue into my canines. I wasn’t mad at Corsa for keeping me in the shadows. I was mad atme.How could I have been so closed off from my own brood that they didn’t know what their baan was?
I had so many shortcomings to make up for.
“Taha, why don’t you get breakfast, er,lunchstarted. Reha? Games. Ladh? I know you’ve been scrolling through human vids, so put something on you think we’ll all like.”
“We aren’t going to school?” Ladh asked, a sparkle in his gaze.
“Not today. I’ll comm your teacher, then I’m gonna tell you about your family on Dharatee. There’sa lotyour fancy boarding schools probably didn’t teach you.”
17
?TINSLEY?
I ran into the hangar as fast as I could the next afternoon, sweat tickling the back of my neck.
The medical researcher and father-to-be, Ezra, confirmed thatbirianuts were safe for humans to eat.
My answering squeal of excitement had threatened to shatter the windows.
I’d immediately gathered as many as I could find in the dark, carrying them home in the drape of my t-shirt and pockets, which bulged like chipmunk cheeks. Then I spent all night drying the shells—and all in the food bay heater, which was definitelynotsupposed to act like an oven—and grinding the testa down on a makeshift mortar and pestle. My arms were rubber, but I didn’t care.
I could figure out how to bake again!
Fuck yeah!!!
