Page 34 of Alliance
Fásach swallowed hard.
“Roz, can I rut you?” he tested out, voice hoarse. Lugh raised a brow as they sat nursing their wounds, and Fásach snorted bitterly. He shook his head. “I can’t ask her that.”
“Why not?”
“Because she’ll say yes.”
They glared at each other, but Fásach looked away first. The truth in the other man’s eyes hurt. If he didn’t trust Roz to make her own decision, even if she did say yes, then Fásach still believed she was a doll.
He had to give her the benefit of the doubt if he believed in her humanity.
Just…afterhe took a shower.
11
Fásach had barely spoken to Roz outside of meals and equipment fittings since theMummerhad picked them up. Instead, he’d spent his time making sure Safia and Misi felt some semblance of normalcy. They’d brawl with their pillows and dolls, practice using their holotabs for typing, study with a basic tutoring app for venandi kids, that sort of thing. And while they snoozed watching educational vid streams, he’d sneak away to face Lugh twice a day.
So it wasn’t as if he was avoiding Roz and the conversation they needed to have. She even hung out with his daughters every day in between downloads and meandering walks around the ship. It drove him nuts, if he was being honest. There he was, left to stew with the chantrut, rut, rutrepeating in his mind while the undertones of his symphony strengthened, worming into her words.
The next day, though, was the last full day they’d have on the ship. The girls were pestering Traveler on the bridge, Fásach wasn’t covered in blood or sweat… Now was his only chance to discuss his transition and the implications of—
Pacing outside of her room, he huffed with annoyance. Even his thoughts were awkwardly formal. He needed to just get it over with.
He stopped and requested access before he could pace a groove into the floor. The door opened immediately, Roz sittingon her bed, her fingers caught amongst the growing tangles of her tresses. When she smiled at him, his heart thumped against his chest with force.
“Hi, Fásach!” she said, waving with enthusiasm. “I’m glad to see you.”
“Oh?” He blinked, caught off guard. “Did you need me for something?”
“No, I just like seeing you.” Her voice tinkled like windchimes.
Fásach fought back a groan.Forge ahead.“I was hoping to talk to you about something… sensitive. Can I come in?”
Roz scooted over on the bed and patted the mattress beside her. Fásach sat next to her with a deep sigh. Why did this feel like giving Safia the matehood talk?
“What’s the matter? Your vitals are elevated,” Roz asked as the door closed. “Can I do anything?”
“Maybe.” Fásach pricked the pad of his opposite hand with his claws, brow creased. “Have you gotten a chance to learn about the yiwren yet?”
A slow, brilliant smile lifted Roz’s mouth. “Yes, I did. I learned about fluidity and Byddie—” Fásach snorted with amusement at the nickname for his homeworld. On Roz’s lips, it sounded like the name of a childhood friend. “And your fur! I spent a lot of time on that. There isn’t anything at all about how to take care of my silk so far, but I saw that yiwren just brush their tresses with their claws, so I’m giving it a try.”
Roz blew a curl from her forehead as Fásach studied her face nervously.
“And you learned about the transition?” he asked with a stone lodged in his throat.
She nodded, palms propped on her ankles. “You’ve been transitioning, right? Your dewlap is smaller, and your arms are thicker. Plus, all of your clothes look more like they fit.”
Fásach nodded, leaning his elbows on his knees. He was bulking up, but not much. His biceps butted up against his forearms as he bent his head to his knuckles, and his thighs were thicker…
But that was it. No thicker fur or longer tresses. His fangs hadn’t dropped either. It would seem like an impressive change to any other species, but for a yiwren, it was paltry. Almost inconsequential.
“It’s not fast enough, Roz,” he admitted. “You remember where we’re landing?”
“On the ice cap?” she said as if answering a test question. Fásach nodded.
“The moon’s small, so it won’t take long for us to travel into warmer territory, but I’ve spent half my life on a volcanic rock. My pelt’s thin. Ineedthe thicker fur. I need to be able to eat raw meat and lug the girls around in their vital pods.”
“I can help with some of that too, you know. I’m stronger than I look.”
