Page 43 of Defiance
“No,thatwas a cavity search. He had his hands in your mouth, for feck’s sake!”
Novak’s tail lashed at its bag like he wanted to smack it on the ground. “You don’t need to be concerned about our arrangement, Charlie. Nobody suspects. It really was standard procedure.”
“Nobody suspects,” I scoffed, putting my hands on my hips. I stepped into his personal space, my lip trembling where I bit it between my teeth. “Honestly? I don’t care who knows. I’d rather they did because I had a grand time. Up until you said it wouldn’t happen again while my skirt was still hiked over my arse. Classy, that was. What Idogive a shite about is how you’re being treated like a fecking animal.”
Novak stared down at me, shock and confusion playing across his brow. His nostrils andcolearaflared. I gestured at his mouth gently, brushing my thumb over his lip. He parted his jaws as I checked the roof of his mouth for bruising.
A tear fell from my eye and I breathed through it. “They put caps on your fangs.” I pulled them off like the rubber ball on the tip of a new ballpoint pen.
“Their fears are valid,” he whispered as I tossed the caps into the corner of the room.
“Right, and I’m a bloody princess.”
“Advenan males would use their venom to coerce their quarries in the past. It was common when we still had a homeworld. Instinct.”
“Oh yeah? How long ago was that?” I asked, crossing my arms in anger. His ears fell back.
“Dystropos has been gone for two hundred years… Advenans breed and disappear. We don’t stay. We just… hurt them. Our quarries.”
I scoffed. “I’m your quarry and I’m not hurt. You haven’t leftme.You didn’t rape me either.”
He growled. “This is different—”
“Is it? Hate to break it to you, but my pussy isn’t magical. I’m not an exception to the dine-and-dash rule.” I scurried my fingers across the air and his ears twisted back. “So was itactuallyeveryone or just a handful that soured the barrel? Has it happened again? What about outside of the Union? Is it common there? If it’s instinct, then it’s gotta be common there.”
Novak swallowed hard. “No.”
My heart broke. Novak wasgood.Sure he’d been cold, but the aloofness was starting to click into place. The secrecy. He was attentive, dedicated to his mission—tome—and playful when he loosened up. But the Union had decided that being an advenan defined him more than who he was.
“Did you know that I was married once?” I asked, my voice tight, words garbled. I hated talking about the second half of my life. “I married my high school sweetheart when we were twenty because I got pregnant. Miscarried her halfway through. My cycles turned to rubbish after that. The pain was so awful, I couldn’t get out of bed to change the sheets. My shite husband told me it was in me head. That I was making excuses to not have children.”
Novak growled.“Veshda??,”he spat.
“After a while, I believed him. Kept trying. Lost four more after that. The day I scheduled my hysterectomy, I brought home an adoption application. John was furious at my supposed ‘sudden change of heart.’ He hadn’t noticed my pain because I wasn’t human to him. He thought a wife was made to serve her husband, and I’d foolishly reinforced that foryearsbefore getting wise.”
Novak creased his brow. “I’m sorry.”
I stepped up to his chest so that he had to tuck his chin to meet my glare. “Why do I get the feeling our stories aren’t so different?”
He grimaced, scales flaring up. “It’s true that advenan males don’t have as many freedoms—”
“Men. You mean advenanmen.”
“...Yes,” he said in a daze. He ran his hand over his snout and ears. They popped back up as he paced, gnashing his teeth. “We donate sperm to fertility clinics and let them drain our venom once per satbit in exchange for Union citizenship. The Union needs us for diversified procedures, so we’re tolerated, but not trusted. Most establishments that have female employees or clients don’t permit us entry without a merit collar since we’re officially registered as dangers to society.”
“So as long as you serve it up for diversification, you can live free?” I asked with skepticism.
“And don’t sire our own neolates, yes.”
Bile rose in my throat. They couldn’t build families. Just one step left of sterilization. All that smooth talk and confidence… Was I actually his first? Our arrangement suddenly meant so much more. Novak wasn’t just putting his reputation on the line, but exile. A black mark on his people. Mass panic, even. All for the sake of protecting humans.
“I appreciate your concern, Charlie, but we’ve lived with this for a long time. It’s not changing anytime soon.” He brushedhis hands over my arms and gave me a nonchalant shrug. “My life is fulfilling. I run my own guild on Huajile and adopt a lot of orphaned youth into the hall. I’m the first advenan covert elite in the Union, and thanks to you, I’ve been on the Hunt.” He leaned into my neck with a teasing smirk. “If I weren’t so honest, I might say that yourchemiais fading so that I could Hunt you again.”
It was meant to distract me from the horror of how he was treated with a dangerous taste of flirtation, but I didn’t smile. I didn’t rise to the act he’d probably used to smooth things over a thousand times. I wanted him to know that I saw him and would stand with him like a fortress wall because I wish I’d had that when my life had turned to shite. If I had, maybe I’d have lived for me a lot sooner.
I shook my head, eyes locked on his. “You don’t have to pay for my attention like that, Novak. When we were in Renata, I invited you back to mine because I fancied you. We got along. If it were just a thrill, I wouldn’t have. That’s a bit too vulnerable for me.”
The grin slid off his face while I held his stare.
