Page 48 of Dead Man's Wish
His hand trailing over my body as he made love to me.
When he said, “I do,”and kissed me on our wedding day.
Him holding me in the dark of night as we talked about our future.
It was only him, and it had always been him. I had no life without him, or rather, I had no life I wanted to live without him. He completed me in every way. The final image to flash through was Jaiden’s face much closer, his eyes in particular—the sage green that reduced me to a puddle. The piercing stare as he watched me like he wanted to devour me. His pinched brow when he got angry. His eyes lighting up when he was excited. The creases as he laughed and smiled. How they deepened when he cried. The heaviness of sadness when he was heartbroken.
An overlay passed.
Blue eyes.
Mine.
As darkness encroached and my fists beat helplessly against Veronica’s chest, I saw me. Her eyes,our eyes, traced over my face as I struggled. I wasn’t sure if you could cry underwater, but it felt like I was.
He’ll be heartbroken again if we give up.Her voice was softer than mine, more nurturing and loving.
I can’t fight anymore,I admitted to myself. This was hard, painful. I was so fucking tired.
Do you really think he isn’t coming?She was reasoning me back into my will to live.That he didn’t set the world ablaze the moment he saw you were gone?
It’s so hard. It’s hurting. My chest hurts.A choked sob of an airless cry left me. Her image became distorted by the bubbles.
Is he going to find us dead, or will he find us fighting like hell to be in his arms again?Her hand traced my face before she faded away and was replaced by Jaiden.
Survive until I show up, baby.His voice from memory was just as calming as in person. I swore I felt the ghost of a kiss before he vanished. The only thing left to see was Veronica, blurred and disfigured above the surface. Above me.
A feral scream ripped from my chest. The last of everything I had obscured my view of her. I clawed at her chest for any bit of purchase. My thighs tightened as my feet flattened against her hips. I shoved her slim body, directing her over my head as I rolled back into the water. I broke the surface, gasping as her scream echoed into the woods. I didn’t look back as I pulled myself onto land. A solidthunkagainst the pier cut her scream short before she dropped into the water. I gagged over the grass, dry heaving as my muscles contracted with a painful force. My lungs couldn’t get enough air and my throat burned. Even if I wanted to speak, I wasn’t sure I could be understood with the burning damage inflaming my windpipe.
I was soaked as I brought myself to standing. My pajamas were clinging in all the most uncomfortable places, and my hair was heavy as water fell from my body. I pulled at my wrists again, staggering as I tried to run back inside. Despite the summer month, the wooded mountain property was chilly in the early-morning hour and the cold latched onto the wetness. I felt it down to my core.
I coughed and water ejected from my mouth. Near drowning was still a possible fatal outcome if I retained any water in my lungs. It hurt like fuck, but I kept coughing and gagging to expel as much as I could. The front door of the cabin that haunted my dreams loomed before me. I pushed on it, just as heavy now for something so rotten. The door weighed nothing in its current state, but I was so tired. I pushed harder and it gave way. Stumbling inside, I looked around the minimal living space. Peters was gone. If he were a smart man, he would’ve fled and abandoned Veronica here at the first chance. One way or another, I’d be found and they’d be discovered.
I needed to free my hands, remembering the knife I kicked under the couch. I darted for the dusty furniture, moving slow, like a nightmare playing out in real time.
A hand circled my throat and threw me to the ground. I went easily; there wasn’t much fight left in my heart.
Peters is not a smart man.
Pain exploded above my left eye and a hot stream of blood trickled down my cheek. The contrast against my chilled skin left a shiver working through me.
“I’ve had it with you.” His voiced was ragged and his face was fucked up. I thought I smiled at him—it was what I felt like doing. My head felt heavy . . . Hell, everything felt too heavy for me to know if I was moving.
Peters took the opportunity of my already lifeless body to sit on me. Pressure below my lungs caused discomfort, but I couldn’t find the strength to kick him off. His grubby hands gripped my soaked shirt, and he pulled me off the floor to face him. The fabric stretched and the seams tore against my unsupported body weight.
I like this shirt.
“I didn’t have much interest in Veronica’s playground lover bullshit, but I needed the money. Then, I met your spunky, smart-ass mouth and I wanted to drive more than just my blade into you.” His confession left me nauseous.
Fucking gross, dude.
“He’ll kill you,” I muttered. It was all I could breathe out. My vision started blurring and darkening again. I was ready for it to be over. My head lolled as I fought falling asleep. I wouldn’t let him desecrate my body, alive, asleep, or dead.
“Not before your lips are wrapped around my cock.” The idea of his unimpressive dick being forced into anything of mine lit a small fire in my veins. A numbness set in as it clashed with the cold that ran deep into my bones.
“You’re a disgusting, impotent man who can’t even get it up. I’m not scared of you.” My final truth was spoken. I wasn’t afraid of men like Peters or psychopaths like Brent and Veronica. I only feared the state of Jaiden if he lost me.
His hold on my shirt released, and I thumped against the floor. His hands wrapped around my throat, and my body didn’t fight to breathe then. We’d been through this so many times before. I stared back at Peters. Nothing on my face betrayed how I felt. No fear. No shame. Not even sadness was allowed to break this cold mask. I was indifferent toward him, his words, his actions. A reaction far crueler than hate.
