Page 8 of Dead Man's Wish
It burned my skin. Muscles started loosening as blood vessels dilated in the heat. My shoulders dropped as the tension washed down the drain. I rolled my head from side to side, letting the water reach every part and warm me to my core. I shivered, but I wasn’t cold. My muscles twitched as I forced them to relax, and my medication started reaching my system.
The shower door closed behind me. I could sense Jaiden in a room, whether I saw him there or not. It was a connection that transcended whatever physical plane we were on. He wasn’t touching me, but I could feel him wrapped around my entire being. His hand covered my shoulder and he squeezed gently, kneading the tiny knots threatening to enlarge with each wave of panic. Where the drug provided a buzz and elevation above reality, his touch gave me warmth.
“Can I keep touching you?” he whispered in my ear, barely audible above the noise of the water. I closed my eyes and nodded. He pressed against my back.
My soft curves molded around his firm body, and I let my head rest under his chest. He had the worst time with shower height. The only one that ever accommodated his size was the one he oversaw the design of for our home. Water sprayed his abdomen just above my shoulder, but he didn’t express feeling cold or move the showerhead higher.
Jaiden trailed his other hand from my hip up to my ribs in slow, circular motions. I took a deeper breath every time his fingers tickled over them.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked, and I nodded again. His hand abandoned the massage and covered my throat. He redirected my attention to him and the first thing to catch my eye, like always, was his mischievous grin and the glint of the silver barbell under his top lip.
There was no reason for an inanimate object to be that sexy.
Holding me in place, he covered my mouth with his, a tease and a trap. The first kiss was always sweet, sometimes even shy and hesitant. His hand left my side and returned with cold body wash that he spread over my stomach. The sensory overload of his tongue sweeping over mine and his touch everywhere else effectively short-circuited the panic.
He separated us before I could urge him to deepen it and put me under the hot water to rinse off. My chest heaved, but he looked calm as ever, as though he didn’t just steal all the oxygen from my lungs. I tipped my head back and he reached for the shampoo. Without saying a word, he tipped his chin and told me to step forward. His hands found my hair when I cleared the water stream. A thick lather built as he massaged my scalp.
I watched him, never breaking eye contact as he lightly raked his nails through my hair. It was hypnotic and for a moment, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you where we were or what I’d done that day. The sleepiness setting in was too heavy and my eyes closed. He rinsed my hair and moved on to the conditioner, repeating the similar process.
“Do you want to shave your legs?” he asked, but I didn’t fully register the question because I was too focused on the way the water felt as it pooled and ran down my body.
“What?” I opened my eyes and tried to shake the daze I was in.
“Do you want to shave your legs?” he repeated. “I can do that for you, too.”
“Yeah, that sounds nice.” I gave him a lazy smile.
“Medicine kicking in?” he asked with a knowing grin. His eyebrow raised in a way that told me I looked as on cloud nine as I felt.
“I’m pretty sure,” I answered slowly, on the verge of slurring my words. “You’re so strong,” I whispered as he moved me against the glass wall. He bent down on one knee and placed my foot on his leg. He squeezed the gel into his palm and worked it over my skin.
“Playing back-up bodyguard gives me good reason to be.” He meant during the appointments where we had to meet with alleged suspects or convicted offenders. I never wanted to feel vulnerable again, and my solution to that was private training with a mixed martial arts specialist. Even so, Jaiden insisted that he remain within reaching distance. He never wanted to feel powerless over an outcome again.
He picked up my razor and moved it carefully against my skin, taking off a strip of the white foam and running the blade under water. Repeating the motions, he finished and started on my other leg. I didn’t have much conversation left in me, and I felt the shadows creep in. My head lolled back against the glass, and the tingling sensation pricked at my skin again as my nervous system was tamed.
“Let’s get you in bed,” Jadien whispered. He was closer. I pried open an eye and saw his chest.
“Okay,” was all I could manage as he turned the shower off. He held my arm as he stepped out and took towels off the hook. When he came back in, one towel was wrapped around his waist and the other he wrapped around me like I was a Bexley burrito. My arms were trapped against my sides and instead of trusting me to walk, Jaiden picked me up.
He tossed me onto the bed while he looked for a T-shirt in his bags, and I shimmied free of the towel. Every movement of mine felt delayed just a fraction.
“Can you manage?” he asked while trying to hide his laughter.
“It’s just a shirt,” I assured him. Speaking still felt thick and I concentrated hard on each word.
“That’s true, but you’re feeling it fully now.” He touched a hand to my cheek. “Doing okay?” Another bob of my head. “Under the covers then, it’s time for bed. I’ll pack our bags and wake you up when it’s time to leave.”
I did as he said. The sheets felt like silk against my legs and the fluffy comforter cocooned me. I felt Jaiden slide in against my back; he’d slipped on gym shorts. He whispered something into my hair but I couldn’t discern it.
Goodnight.I thought I’d managed to say it aloud, but darkness had taken over by the time it echoed in the emptiness.
It’s so cold,I feel like I’m freezing. Autumn in Old Oaks is just as frigid as always. If I could change anything about this place, I would definitely make it a bit warmer. It’s foggy today, unusually so. I walk across campus, but something isn’t quite right. I stop and look around more closely. The building to my right is brick-built, but the roof isn’t recognizable immediately. I look to my left and note the admin building.
To my right should be a library, one fit for showing off, but this one is new. Or rather, old? I step off the concrete sidewalk and onto the green lawn. I look down at my path, each step turning brown. The grass is dying as I continue, but I can’t stop. The building draws me to it. It’s a low-rise and its roof is red-tiled. It doesn’t look like anything I remember on campus, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve been inside it before. I continue my path until I reach its single door. When I look back, I see that the dying grass has spread out.
There are windows, but there’s a nagging that tells me the only way inside is through the dilapidated wooden door. I reach out and put my hand in the center. The wood is rough and splintery. The paint is worn, but there’s traces of a dark-blue color in some of the deeper crevices. I grab the doorknob but hesitate.
I shouldn’t go in. I shouldn’t . . . but I need to.
