Page 172 of Beat of Love
And she recalled the look in his eyes when he ejaculated, emptying not just his semen into her, but also his soul. That connection, that moment ofjoiningwas something she would remember for the rest of her life. “Look at me,” she ordered.
“Just go,” Rafferty ground out.
Brandy took a step closer
His entire body tensed even further.
She grabbed hold of his face, cupping it firmly between her palms. “Look. At. Me.”
He dragged his gaze to hers.
Blank. Deep blue pools of absolute nothingness.
The antithesis ofeverythingmere minutes ago.
Fight, Brandy. Fight.
“As you pointed out, I’ve orgasmed before. Hundreds of times. With your twin brother. With Richard. Both were considerate lovers. But what we shared earlier, Rafferty … that was transcendent. And I know you felt it, too, so do not diminish it.”
Ah, a flicker of emotion before he broke free from her hold.
But she kept at it. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s eating you,” she urged.
“Dammit, Red,” he exploded, eyes heated. “You’re fucking relentless.”
“When I’m fighting for what I want, yes.”
“And you wantme? Why?” He slapped a hand to his chest, bewilderment lacing his tone. “Contrary to what you think, I amnota good man. Living undercover, living aliefor so long eroded my humanity, turning me into a monster. Pure scum of the earth. And sooner than later, you’ll figure it out.” He shook his head. “It’s best to walk away now. Forget we crossed that line.”
Monster. Scum.
He truly believed those words.
Brandy moved closer, her determination building.
He retreated. “And I have no right being around Connor. I killed his father. Premeditated murder,” he spat, taking another step back. “And that’s not the only life I’ve taken in cold blood. That’s what I am — amurderer. I should be rotting in prison for that act alone. Most certainlynottrying to get custody of him and sweet little Nadie.”
She advanced. He backed away.
“I’ll contaminate you. And Olivia. Preston. Amelia.”
Did he even realize how desolate he sounded?
He hit the wall.
And his gaze darted away, looking everywhere but at her.
She took hold of his face again.
He closed his eyes.
She applied pressure to her fingers. “Look at me.”
He drew in a shuddering breath, and he opened his eyes.
That awful vacant look was back.
She leaned up and in, getting as near as possible. “You’re a good man.”
