Page 250 of Conquered
“Now, come and let me show you how to kick my ass.”
I laugh, the sound surrounding us with its lightness.
“Please, we both know that I could have you pinned underneath me any time I choose,” I sass back, and the grin he gives me in return is positively feral.
“Is that so, Baby Girl?” he asks, and my heart rate picks up when a decidedly naughty smile tugs his lips upwards. “We’ll test that theory later. For now, we train.”
“Spoil sport,” I grumble, earning a deep chuckle as he leads me into the gym.
It’s pretty empty tonight, only two other guys in there who are just finishing up as we walk in. Jax nods to them, leading me to the boxing ring in the centre.
“Now, we’re only gonna use the pads, Baby Girl. No contact, just in case. And if you need to stop, just say, okay?” I grumble out an assent as he hands me my new gloves, the ones he bought me for Christmas, with ‘Baby Girl’ on the wrist straps.
Taking out his phone, he thumbs the screen, and the gym fills with the opening lyrics ofHim & Iby G-Eazy and Halsey. My head bobs with the beat, my lips tugging up as the lyrics flow over me.
We spend the next forty minutes practising boxing moves, until a sheen of sweat covers my body and I’m panting hard.
“I’m done,” I gasp out, taking my gloves off and gratefully taking the bottle of water that Jax hands me.
“You did good, Baby Girl,” he tells me, not even looking flushed as he stands there in a wifebeater and long shorts.Fucking cockwomble.
We leave the ring, and I sit down on the mats to do some stretching, whilst Jax goes over to the punching bags. He doesn’t bother with gloves, or even wrapping his hands, as he starts to lay into them with unrestrained violence. My brows begin to dip, my heart pounding as he keeps hitting the bag, his breath hissing out with each strike. I wince as his knuckles split, the red of his blood dripping down his hands as he doesn’t even pause, each strike now sounding wet and making the bag swing.
Looking up, his chest heaves with exertion, his face a mask of pain and anger, nostrils flared, teeth bared. I get up, pain lancing my own chest as I walk towards him, knowing that this is no ordinary training session. He’s hurting badly.
“Jax, love?” I question softly, keeping back a little, giving him space. The thump of his hits keeps coming, and I bite my lip at how raw his knuckles now look. “Jax! Stop! Please,” I beg, my voice choked as I step forward, my hand out.
He looks up at me, eyes wild, sweat dripping down his face.
“It hurts so good, Baby Girl,” he rasps out, voice sounding broken. “I need to hurt.”
“Oh, love.” A sob escapes my throat, and I take another step towards him, and another, until I can place my hand on his quivering bicep.
“I failed them, baby. I failed them all.” And my heart breaks as he hangs his head, his shoulders rounding forward in a posture of defeat.
“Failed who, darling?” I ask, my chest tightening. I’ve been so tied up with everything, that I didn’t notice how much he was hurting.
“Mom, Loki, Kai, Ash...you,” he replies, his head still hanging.
“What? No, sweetheart, you’ve not failed us,” I try to assure him, but he just shakes his head at me, finally looking up, torment clear in his swirling blue eyes.
“I wasn’t there when my mom got beaten up, ending up in the hospital. I couldn’t do a damn thing when that bastard Julian was hitting on you. I didn’t know that cunt was praying on Loki until afterwards, and Kai...Fuck!” He twirls, punching the bag again so hard that blood splatters his chest. My heart breaks for him. Our protector. “How did I not know, Lilly? How did I not see that he was hurting so bad, for so long?” Anguish is clear in his voice, and he looks at me, begging for answers that I’m not sure I have.
“Oh, love. You were in a hell of your own then. You all were. It wasn’t your fault, none of it was your fault.”
At my words he drops to his knees, his head in his hands as his shoulders shake, great heaving sobs leaving his body. I don’t hesitate, dropping in front of him and wrapping my arms around his huge frame. His own arms band around me, and he buries his head in my chest, pulling me tightly against him. Tearsstream down my cheeks as he cries in my arms, falling apart as I hold him.
When will the torment end? When will we be free of the horrors that we’ve experienced?
We clutch each other, his pain surrounding us like a dark cloud full of stinging insects. Gradually, the smoke lifts, Jax’s sobs subsiding until his breathing is somewhat back to normal. He lifts his head, gazing up at me with red rimmed eyes, dried tears on his cheeks matching my own.
“Baby Girl,” he croaks out, voice hoarse. “I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t you dare apologise for being vulnerable, Jax Griffiths,” I tell him sternly. “It’s what makes you human, and just makes me love you so much more.”
He gives me a smile, letting go of my waist and sitting up on his knees with his hands coming up to cup my face in his bloodied palms.
“I should be the one to apologise. I’ve been so tied up with everything, the pregnancy, the wedding, and the others. I haven’t given you the time you needed, Jax. I’m so sorry.” A sob escapes my lips this time, my vision blurring.
