Page 4 of Make Me
I pause, allowing Spencer to ask the question I fully expect. “I don’t think you’ve ever told me why that was. Maybe you’re feeling up to it now?”
“Well, I’m not really wanted there.”
She scoffs. “That’s impossible. You’re the nicest, scariest fae I’ve ever met—and Sin lives there. You two are still close even though you don’t see each other as much, right?”
She’s correct. I still adore Sin, and I know she cares about me even if having a new mate has kept her busier than normal. It’s not her fault I refuse to visit. But having a friend there doesn’t solve my problems.
“Don’t forget, there isn’t only fae blood running through me,” I remind Spencer. “I’m also half wolf shifter.”
Her mouth forms an O. “Is that why you left? Did someone force you out? If so, I’ll strangle them with my bare hands without breaking a sweat.”
I laugh, the sound a little hollow. “Yes and no. My mother cheated on her mate, and I was the result of that infidelity. Both men ended up abandoning her, and she made sure I always knew I was the reason she was miserable. Especially after the first time I shifted.”
“You canshift?” Her eyes widen, shimmering with something suspiciously close to hurt. “Why haven’t youever run with us?”
“Because I committed the ultimate betrayal to my wolf,” I admit, doing my best not to let the tears burning in my eyes fall down my cheeks. “I bound her and tried to pretend I wasn’t the black stain on my mother’s life that she made me feel I was.”
Spencer’s chest rumbles, the sound pure rage. “I know you said we weren’t going to kill anyone, but…” she mutters, barely holding herself back.
I place a hand on her leg, attempting to settle her and myself. “I left that world behind a long time ago, Spence. And I intend to keep it that way.”
This time, I mean it. No more crazy ideas about going back to the fae.
“I’ve just been lonely,” I admit reluctantly. “And sometimes I wonder if maybe I left my fated mate back in the past. Then this invitation shows up—using mytruefae name—and it got under my skin.” I force a shaky smile. “But it’s fine.I’mfine. I’m not going anywhere. Especially not now.”
My gaze drifts instinctively to her stomach. There’s no way I’m missing the birth of my niece or nephew, or missing the chance to watch them grow up. Something I’d failed to take into consideration before, but that won’t happen twice.
That would hurt worse than any loneliness ever could.
Spencer’s glare returns full force. “Don’t you dare use me as an excuse not to live your life.”
I snort, but she isn’t done.
“I will cut you quicker than you can blink. Youdeserve happiness too, but before we circle back to that.” She points dramatically at the crumpled invitation in my hand. “You better spill before I rip that thing out of your fingers. What’s your fae name?”
I groan loudly, knowing that denying her is futile. “Don’t laugh.”
She raises her palm. “On our friendship.”
Here goes nothing. “Kamishola Havensflint.”
Spencer’s smile goes wide. “That’s a beautiful name. A mouthful, but beautiful nonetheless. As is Kasha Flinn. I like that you kept pieces of your true self.”
“Not all of them.” I frown and look away from her. “Maybe I’ll never find my mate because of what I did to my wolf.”
“Nonsense.” She grabs my hands and squeezes them tightly. “If you want to free your wolf, I bet Natalia can help you.”
I’ve considered asking the witch more times than I care to count, but shame is a powerful and suffocating thing.
Spencer waggles her brows at me. “Maybe you’ll find your mate at this party. I heard Vaelora invited more than just the residents of Crossroads.”
Of course she did. She’s trying to make a spectacle of herself, and she won’t stop until everyone knows her name.
“Are you guys going?” I have no desire to, no matter who’s on the guest list, but if Spencer’s already decided, I might not have a choice.
She shakes her head. “I thought about it, but Drake and I already made plans tonight, and I’ve canceled onhim twice thanks to this little pup making me nauseous.” Her palm covers her stomach again, and a longing unlike anything I’ve ever known slams into me.
Damn it. What’s wrong with me lately? I’m going to blame Bruno. I’d been on a dry spell then Raegan and Clara hooked me up with their cousin… It was all downhill after that night and not in the fun way.
