Page 104 of Take My Heart
‘I don’t want the money back. If you send me a check, I won’t cash it.’
‘I can’t let you do all this for free. I have to do something to pay you back.’
‘You’ve done enough.’ She threads her hand with mine. ‘You saved me from almost dying in a blizzard and then saved me again by letting me stay here and be someone I didn’t think I could be.’
‘I’m not sure what that last part means.’
‘I’ve always tried to be the perfect daughter, perfect sister, perfect friend, perfect girlfriend, perfect employee. I’ve moldedmyself into what everyone else wants. But then I came here, where nobody knows me, and I was finally able to be myself. The first day we met, part of the old Kate was there, but she faded away the more time I spent with you.’ She laughs. ‘I looked so horrible that weekend with no makeup and my hair a mess and wearing those baggy clothes, but you didn’t make one comment about it.’
‘Why would I?’
‘Because that’s what people do. They judge. They criticize. If I’d been with my friends or Cam or my family, they’d be telling me to fix my hair, do my makeup, get some sleep to get rid of the bags under my eyes. I used to try to be perfect so they’d all just shut up. But then they’d find more things wrong with me.’
‘I think you need better friends.’
‘I think you’re right.’ She lays her head on my shoulder. ‘A week from now I’ll be back there, living with my parents, getting ready to return to a job I hate.’ She pauses. ‘And as bad as all that stuff is, the thing that’s even worse is that I won’t have you.’
I wish I could think of a way to make this work, but I can’t. I’ve tried. And even if I figured out a way for us to be together, what are the chances it would last? We’re total opposites. What if our differences eventually led to us breaking up? Why even try to be together if that’s our future?
‘Let’s get out of here,’ I say.
‘You said you wanted to talk.’
‘And we did, but I don’t know what to say to make this better so let’s make the most of the time we have left.’
We clean up and I take Kate to dinner, then to the countrybar to practice her line dancing. She’s still really bad at it, but she’s laughing and having fun, which is enough to take her mind off what she’ll be going home to next week.
I’m trying to forget that she’s leaving soon, but it’s all I can think about. Even when I’m not with her, I’m thinking about her, about her smile or something she said, or I’ll see something that reminds me of her.
I remember when I was younger I overheard Jason asking Dad how to tell if you love a girl or just like her. Jason was 17 at the time and thought he was in love with his girlfriend. Dad asked him if he thinks about her when he’s pitching a game. Jason played baseball and was the best pitcher the school’s ever had. He told my dad no, that his mind was on the game, not the girl he was dating. My dad explained that when you love a girl, your mind is on her even when you don’t want it to be, like when you’re pitching a baseball game.
Yesterday when I was cutting the tile for the bathroom, something I’m not very good at that takes focus and precision, my thoughts kept going to Kate. It reminded me of what my dad said about thinking about a girl when you don’t want to. Does that mean I’m in love with Kate? I can’t be, not this soon. So what does it mean? Why can’t I get her out of my head?
Chapter 20
Kate
I’m leaving tomorrow, but I don’t want to go. Just thinking about going back to my job, living with my parents, being back in the city with all the noise and the crowds, is making me feel sick. My stomach’s been in knots for days. I haven’t eaten much and haven’t been able to sleep. Feeling this way should be a sign that I shouldn’t do this, that I shouldn’t go back there. But what’s the alternative? I can’t stay in Haydon Falls. What would I do here? Hang out with Brody all day? I’d love that, but I need to make money. I need to have a job, especially now that I’m helping my parents pay for the lawsuit.
‘Before Jason gets here, I wanted to give you something,’ Brody says, coming into the bedroom, the one that used to be mine. It looks so much better with the newly painted walls and new trim. The worn out carpet is gone and the wood floors that were under it have been refinished and look gorgeous. I couldn’t find curtains that fit within Brody’s budget so I made them myself using fabric I found at the craft store downtown.Brody’s mom loaned me her sewing machine. She’s a really nice lady. Brody’s whole family is great. I’m going to miss them.
‘What is it?’ I ask.
‘Come here. I’ll show you.’ Brody takes my hand and walks me to the kitchen. On the counter there’s a bouquet of pink roses in a vase and a heart-shaped box of chocolates.
I smile at Brody. ‘This is for me?’
‘For Valentine’s Day.’
‘Today is Valentine’s Day?’ I pause, trying to think of the date. I’ve been so busy working on the house that I’ve lost track of the days.
‘You didn’t know that?’
‘No. I didn’t think about it. I didn’t get you anything.’
‘I didn’t expect you to. I know we’re not really dating so maybe it’s weird that I got you something for Valentine’s Day. If it is, consider it a going away gift.’
I tear up hearing him say that. I don’t want to say goodbye to him, or to his family, or this town. In the short time I’ve been here, I’ve fallen in love with this place, and although I don’t want to admit it, I’ve fallen in love with Brody.
