Page 27 of Take My Heart
‘Or take your mind off all the shit you’re worried about.’ I sit back in the chair with a fresh bottle of beer. ‘I dare you to down the shot.’
‘I don’t take dares.’ She looks at the shot glass, running her finger along the top of it.
‘So what’s on your mind?’ I take a drink of my beer, wondering why the hell I’m doing this. Why I’m asking a girl to pour her heart out to me when I could’ve just let her go to herroom so I could watch the game. I must really feel bad for her. Either that or I’m really fucking bored and not in the mood for basketball. That can’t be it. I’m always in the mood for sports.
‘My mom wants me to get back together with him,’ Kate mutters.
‘Did she say why?’
‘She said he’s perfect for me. That I just got cold feet. She said it’s normal to feel that way on your wedding day.’
‘I don’t think that’s true. I mean, sure, you might be nervous, but if you really want to marry someone, it’s more like nervous-excited, not nervous-scared.’
‘Yeah, exactly.’ Kate sips her whiskey. ‘I wish my parents understood that. I tried to tell them, but they keep insisting they know what’s best for me. It’s so frustrating.’
‘My brother’s like that. Nick, the oldest one. He doesn’t tell me what to do, but he’s always making me question myself. I’ve learned it’s best just to not tell him stuff. Like this house. When I was bought it, I didn’t tell Nick. I knew if I did, he’d try to talk me out of it.’
‘Why would he care?’
‘Because he doesn’t want me getting into debt and not being able to pay my bills. He worries too much, about all of my brothers, not just me, but he worries about me more than them because I’m the youngest.’
‘It sounds like he’s just looking out for you.’
‘Yeah, I guess. I just wish he’d leave me alone sometimes and let me figure stuff out for myself.’
‘My parents aren’t looking out for me. They just want me to do what they think is best, which to them is to marry a man who makes a lot of money, live in a big house, and have children.’
‘And that’s not what you wanted?’
‘I wanted the house and the kids. I just didn’t want them with Cam. He wasn’t the right guy for me and I—’ She stops and looks down at her whiskey.
‘You what?’
She raises the shot glass to her lips and downs the whiskey.
‘That bad, huh?’ I joke.
‘Worse.’ She grabs the whiskey bottle and pours another shot. I watch as she drinks it down, squeezing her eyes shut as she feels the burn in her throat. She opens her eyes, takes a breath, then grabs the bottle and pours another shot.
‘Hey, slow down,’ I tell her. ‘You’re going to feel like shit if you drink that much without taking a break.’
She sets the shot glass down and leans back on the couch, staring at the TV. ‘I didn’t love him.’
I wait for her to say more.
She looks at me. ‘I didn’t love him. I almost married a guy I didn’t love.’
‘Then you made the right decision to ditch the wedding.’
She moves to the edge of the couch and turns to me. ‘How could I be that messed up? How could I say yes to his proposal, do months of wedding planning, and show up at the wedding, knowing I didn’t love him?’
‘You loved the idea of him, or the future you’d have with him. That’s not messed up. A lot of people do that.’
‘Really?’ she asks, like she doesn’t believe me.
‘My brother Sawyer almost got married to a girl that didn’t love him. He loved her, but she was more in love with their future together than she was with him. She had the whole thing plannedout. They were going to move away, live in a big city in one of those loft apartments. She didn’t tell this to Sawyer until after they were engaged. She just assumed he’d go along with it. When he told her he wanted to stay here, she broke off the engagement and left.’
‘That doesn’t mean she didn’t love him. They just wanted different things.’
