Page 39 of Take My Heart
‘They have degrees in that?’
‘Yes.’ She smiles at my question, but hey, I didn’t go to college. I don’t know what people study there. ‘My parents didn’t want their money paying for a degree they thought was frivolous, and to them, anything involving art or design is frivolous.’
‘So you picked something you didn’t like.’
‘It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just not what I want to do.’
‘You’re going to work at a job you don’t want to do for the rest of your life?’ I shake my head. ‘That sucks.’
‘I wasn’t supposed to be working for that long. The plan was to marry Cam, have a couple kids, and stay home with them. I figured I could use my business degree in some kind of volunteer job, like being treasurer for a local community group. So in a way, I’d still be working, just not a regular job.’
Watching her talk, I get the feeling she’s lying. She got this fake rise of excitement in her voice when she mentioned staying at home and being a treasurer, whatever the hell that is. I’m good at spotting bullshit, and what she said just now is bullshit. She didn’t want that life, or if she did, she didn’t want it with Cam. I don’t think she knows what she wants. She seems confused as hell, like she’s got so many people telling her what to do that she has no idea what she actually wants.
I’m lucky I have parents who let me do what I want. When I told them I was starting a lawn care business, I saw the worry on their faces, knowing I’d have to go into debt before I’d actually make money. But they didn’t tell me not to do it. And they supported my decision to expand the business to snow removal and my decision to buy this house.
Now I’m in debt with my business and a house that’s falling apart and I’m afraid to tell my parents. I’m afraid to let them down. It’s stupid because I know they’d still be supportive and help me however they could, but that’s not what I want. I want to prove to myself and them that I can do this, that I can get out of the hole I dug myself in and start making money again. But then my snowplow breaks down in the middle of a huge storm and the hole gets even deeper.
I should be freaking out right now, but I’m not because it’snot who I am. I don’t know if I ignore bad shit because I’m easygoing or because I just can’t deal with it. In a way, I’m glad I’m like this and not someone who worries constantly like Kate. Talking about her parents, she’s getting all tense like she was when I found her. I might have to take her out in the snow again to loosen her up.
She’s totally not my type, but I do like her. I’m even kind of hoping it keeps snowing so I can spend more time with her.
Chapter 8
Kate
I’m so confused. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. I should be mourning my relationship with Cam and completely freaking out that I walked out on my wedding, but instead I feel strangely calm and kind of happy.
Is it relief? Is that why I feel this way? Am I relieved I got out of something I never actually wanted? Or maybe I’m happy because I finally did something for myself instead of everyone else.
I wish I could talk to someone, someone who would actually listen to me and not say I’m being ridiculous and to come home and marry Cam. That’s what my friends would tell me, which makes me wonder if they’re really friends. Half of them are already married and living their supposed dream lives with guys just like Cam. The other half are engaged to guys like Cam. I’m sure they think I’m crazy for walking out on him, so trying to explain why I did this is a waste of time. They’d neverunderstand. To them, a rich husband and a fancy house equals happiness.
Maybe I should call Jill. My sister isn’t the greatest listener, but she knows me better than anyone else. She might be able to make sense of why I’m feeling like this.
‘I’m going to bed,’ Brody says, getting up from the couch.
We’ve been sitting here all night, talking and watching TV. I feel really comfortable around Brody, which is odd because I never feel comfortable around people I don’t know. And I never let people see me like this, with no makeup and my hair a mess. Only my family has, and Cam, but he doesn’t like the ‘natural’ look, as he calls it, so when I lived with him I’d get up before him and put my makeup on.
I jump up from the couch. ‘Hey, before you go, could I use your phone? I really want to talk to my sister. I’ll make it quick.’
‘I don’t care how long you talk to her.’ He unlocks his phone and hands it to me. ‘When you’re done, just bring the phone to my room.’
I felt a flutter in my stomach when he mentioned his room, a nervous flutter, like going in his room, at night, is wrong. It’s not wrong. I’ll just be dropping off his phone. So why does it feel wrong? Because I’m attracted to Brody, that’s why. I can’t believe I just thought that, but it’s true. I’m attracted to a guy I just met, like really attracted, as in I almost kissed him in the kitchen earlier.
I’m clearly going through some kind of trauma response from leaving my wedding. How else do I explain why I’m lusting after some other guy on my wedding day?
‘Are you guys close?’ Brody asks.
I look up and see him in the kitchen, getting a glass of water.
‘Me and my sister? Not really, but I don’t have anyone else to talk to.’
‘You don’t have friends?’
‘I have a ton of friends, but if I call them, they’ll all tell me to get back with Cam.’
‘You sure these people are friends?’ Brody walks back to me, holding his glass of water. Actually, it’s an orange plastic cup with some kind of logo on the side. I bet he doesn’t even own an actual glass. He’s so different than Cam, who has glasses for every kind of beverage, all neatly lined up in his cupboards.
‘They’re not the kind of friends who would understand what I’m going through. They all love Cam and think he’s perfect for me.’
