Page 47 of Take My Heart
‘I can’t find where I put my contact list. I’m so disorganized. I hate this shit so I don’t do it, or I try to and fuck it up.’
‘I’d be happy to help you look.’ I should get out of his room, but I don’t want to. There’s something about Brody that relaxes me, which is just what I need after talking to my sister. She always makes me feel anxious. Same with my parents. And Cam.
Brody sets the laptop on the bed. ‘Take a look. I’m going to get a shirt.’
As he walks to his dresser, I watch him, noticing his narrow waist and the muscles that line his back. I wouldn’t mind if he kept the shirt off. With a body like that, why cover it up?
Why do I keep having these thoughts about Brody? Is it because it’s been so long since I had sex? Or because Cam just didn’t do it for me like Brody does? Was I even attracted to Cam or just attracted to what he could offer me as a future husband?
‘Did you find it?’ Brody asks, his back to me as he puts on a t-shirt.
‘Um, no.’ I race over to the laptop, picking it up as I sit down on the bed. I wake up the screen and notice it’s not locked. ‘Is this your work computer?’
‘Yeah. Why?’
‘You should really keep it locked.’
‘Why? I’m the only one who lives here and I don’t take it anywhere.’
‘I know, but still. It’s better to be safe than sorry.’
‘You sound like Nick,’ Brody says, looking through one of his drawers. ‘He’s always worried about shit like that, always thinking something bad’s going to happen. I don’t think thatway.’ He pulls a pair of workout shorts from the drawer and walks to the door. ‘I’m gonna go change. I’ll be right back.’
While he’s in the bathroom, I find the client spreadsheet and quickly glance through it.
‘Any luck?’ Brody asks, coming back in the room. He’s changed into the shorts and tosses the jeans he was wearing on the floor. Cam would never do that. All clothes had to be neatly hung or folded, including mine. The one time I left my work clothes draped over a chair in my hurry to get to yoga class, Cam scolded me. I was feeling zen after class, only to have it ruined by Cam lecturing me as soon as I got home.
‘I found the list, but I think you could do more with it.’
‘What do you mean?’ Brody sits beside me, close enough his arm brushes against mine. He’s just trying to see the screen but his brief touch had that fluttery thing happening again, only this time it was lower, in a place it shouldn’t be.
‘You don’t have their services listed or a schedule for when you’ll do them.’
‘I don’t need to. If it snows, I show up.’
‘What about the summer? How do you know when to mow?’
‘I’ve got it in a notebook somewhere.’
His system is a mess. How is he running a business like this?
‘It’d be really easy to put it in the spreadsheet,’ I say. ‘And add columns for when they paid. Or do you track that somewhere else?’
‘I don’t track it. I don’t need to. I know all my customers. They’re good people. Most of them are friends with my parents. They’re not going to stiff me on the bill.’
‘But if they did, you wouldn’t know because you’re not keeping track.’
‘Everything’s good,’ he says, taking the laptop from me. ‘I like my system the way I have it. It’s simple.’ He motions to the screen. ‘And I hate these damn spreadsheets. The less I have to use them, the better.’
‘They’re easy to use once they’re set up. I could help if you want. I could add the payment information and a schedule for—’
‘Thanks, but that’s not what I want,’ Brody says, sounding annoyed. ‘Why don’t you go to bed? I got this.’
‘Yeah, okay,’ I say, sensing I overstepped. I was just trying to help, but he doesn’t want it. I forget not everyone’s obsessed with organization the way I am. I grew up in a home with order, where everything had a place and there were lots of rules. Cam’s the same way. It’s odd to be around someone who’s not that way, or doesn’t want to be. ‘Goodnight,’ I say as I head to the door.
‘Goodnight,’ he mutters. I look back and see Brody staring at his laptop, rubbing his hand over his jaw.
I go down to my room and get into bed but can’t sleep. I can’t shut my brain off. I have so much to think about, like if the storm ends tomorrow, where will I go? Do I find a hotel somewhere close to here and stay there until Cam’s car can be towed out of the ditch? What if the car doesn’t start? What if it got damaged when it slid into the ditch? Cam’s going to kill me when he finds out what happened. That car is his baby. How am I going to tell him?
