Page 48 of Take My Heart
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In the morning, I wake up at six. I didn’t fall asleep until three, after spending hours replaying that conversation with my sister. At one point I convinced myself she was right, that I should go back to Cam and live the life I’d planned. Then I came to my senses and remembered I didn’t want that life. And I didn’t want Cam. In the brief time I’ve spent with Brody, I’ve realized how much better my life could be with someone else. Someone who lets me be myself and look however I want and do silly things like make snow angels. With Cam, I felt like I was living in a box I couldn’t get out of. But being here, I’ve felt free, like I could be this whole other person. Brody knows nothing about me so I can be whoever I want. There’s freedom in that.
‘What are you doing up so early?’ Brody asks as he walks into the kitchen. I’m standing by the counter, mixing up pancake batter.
‘I’m making breakfast.’
‘What time is it?’
‘A little after seven. Did I wake you up?’
‘Yeah, but it’s fine. I needed to get up.’
‘It’s still snowing.’
‘Are you serious? I was hoping the weather guy was wrong and it’d be over by now.’ Brody walks to the window that looks out to the backyard and yanks up the blinds. It’s snowing so hard that all you can see is white. ‘It’s worse than yesterday.’
‘How much do you think is out there?’
‘Probably 15 inches, maybe more. People are going to be calling me, yelling at me to clear their driveway.’
‘Didn’t you send out that email last night?’
‘Yeah, but as soon as the snow stops, they’ll want theirdriveway cleared, and that’s not going to happen if my plow doesn’t work. I’m hoping I can fix it before I have to tell them.’
‘If you can’t, I’m sure they’ll understand. Equipment breaks all the time.’ I turn the burner up on the stove. ‘Do you want some pancakes?’
Brody walks over to me. ‘Where’d you find stuff to make pancakes?’
‘I found a mix in your cupboard.’ I hold up the box.
Brody takes it from me. ‘I never bought this.’
‘Someone must have. Maybe your mom?’
‘No, it wasn’t her. It must have been Danielle.’
‘Who’s Danielle?’ I ask, feeling a twinge of jealousy. I shouldn’t be jealous. I’m not dating Brody. Why would I feel jealous?
‘She was a girl I dated last year. She loved pancakes. She’d make them for dinner, breakfast, lunch.’ He sets the pancake mix down. ‘I didn’t know she left that here.’
‘Were you two living together?’ I ask as I flip the pancakes in the skillet.
‘No,’ he says with a laugh. ‘I’m not ready for that. Not even close.’
‘You’re 26. That’s not too young to live with someone.’
‘It’s not about age. It’s about not being ready. You move in with a girl, you’re in a serious relationship.’
‘And you don’t want that?’
‘I do eventually, but not now. I’ve got too much other stuff going on.’ He goes past me to the fridge and takes out the orange juice. ‘You didn’t have to make breakfast.’
‘I wanted to. I was hungry, and when I found the pancakemix, I suddenly wanted pancakes.’ I turn to Brody. ‘It’s okay, right? That I used your kitchen?’
He smiles. ‘What did I say yesterday?
I smile back. ‘Yeah, I know. I’m just not used to that.’
