Page 1 of Take My Heart
Chapter 1
Kate
As I walk down the aisle, I glance at my soon-to-be husband standing at the altar. Growing up, I imagined myself marrying a man like him. Tall, with blond hair and blue eyes. A man who dresses well and has a successful career and comes from a prominent family. Cam’s everything I ever wanted.
So why are my palms sweating?
Why is my heart racing?
Why do I feel like I’m about to throw up?
My father gives my arm a gentle squeeze as we reach the altar. I look up at him and see the pride in his eyes. He’s proud of me for choosing Cam, a guy who will give me everything I could ever want or need. A guy who comes from a wealthy, well-connected family.
I watch as my father walks back to his seat. I can’t disappoint him, or my mom. I can’t disappoint my friends or Cam’s family. They’re all counting on me to do this, and whywouldn’t I? Cam will give me a great life. Weekends sailing on Lake Michigan. Summers in Lake Geneva. Cam will achieve his dream of becoming a senator while I raise the three children we’re hoping to have. We’ve planned our entire future and today it officially begins.
‘Welcome to this joyous occasion,’ the minister says, gazing out at the church and our 500 guests. ‘A day in which we celebrate the union of Katelyn Rose Millstone to Camden James Cartwright.’
My chest muscles seize up. I feel like I can’t breathe. My heart’s beating faster with each second that passes. I’m feeling faint, black spots clouding my vision.
‘Kate,’ Cam whispers.
I glance over at Cam and see him mouthing the words ‘calm down’.
His words don’t help. I can’t calm down. I’m about to get married. And it’s not what I want. I don’t love Cam the way I should. I’ve felt this way for months now but told myself it’s normal, that it’s just cold feet. Everyone’s nervous before their wedding. I convinced myself I just needed to get over it. But I’m not over it. If anything, I feel even more certain I don’t love Cam. He checks all my boxes, my family and friends think he’s perfect for me, but I know in my heart he’s not the one.
The minister’s been talking for several minutes now, giving his speech about love and marriage. I’ve zoned out for most of it, but I pay attention when I hear him say love means being able to be yourself. I don’t feel like myself with Cam. I feel like a version of myself that’s been molded into what he wants. Part of that is my fault. I let myself become what he wanted instead ofjust being me. Now I’m at the point where I’m not even sure who I am anymore.
‘And now for your vows,’ the minister says.
‘Camden, we will begin with you,’ the minister says.
I can’t do this. I can’t marry someone I don’t love.
‘Camden,’ the minister says, ‘do you take—’
‘Stop,’ I blurt out.
Cam and the minister look at me.
‘Did you say stop?’ Cam asks.
‘Yes.’ I swallow, my heart pounding so hard I feel it pulsing in my head. ‘I can’t do this.’
‘Do what?’ Cam whispers.
‘Marry you,’ I say, my voice shaking. ‘I’m sorry, Cam. I just can’t.’
‘Give us just a moment,’ the minister says to the guests, smiling as if nothing’s wrong.
But everything’s wrong. Nothing about this feels right. I know that now more than ever. It’s like I’ve been living in the dark and a light’s been turned on and I can finally see that this is a huge mistake.
‘You’re just nervous,’ Cam says. He glances at the guests, then back at me, his jaw tightening and that crease forming between his eyes, the one that appears when he’s angry.
‘It’s not nerves,’ I tell him, keeping my voice down. ‘This isn’t right. It doesn’t feel like it should. It feels wrong.’
Cam puts his hand on my shoulder, but not in a loving way. He’s gripping it, letting me feel his anger. ‘Just take a breath and get it together.’
I stare into his eyes. ‘You’re not listening to me. I don’t want to do this. I can’t.’
