Page 15 of Choosing a Forever
“Oh? Where do you work?”
“Well, I have two jobs.”Why am I telling him this?“I work as a bid desk specialist for a tech company during the week and then pick up shifts as a bartender at Great and Spacious.”
“Oh.” I don’t like that I can’t read his tone. Most Mormons get judgy when they hear I’m a bartender. Alcohol being against the rules and all that. “That’s cool. What time does your shift start?”
“Uh, six?” I don’t know why I pose it as a question. I know my own damn schedule.
“Well, what about lunch, then? Or breakfast? I’m free any time on Saturday.” Why does he sound so eager? Why is he so hellbent on going out with me? What does he want?
Why is the universe being such a bitch? Haven’t I been through enough? Can’t I just… forget about my teenage love and move on?
Apparently not. And apparently, I’m a masochist.
“Lunch works, but I probably only have an hour or so. How about one?” That should give me enough time to have lunch, freak out about having lunch with him, then get ready for work while I dissect every single thing that happens at lunch.
“Sounds great! Is there anywhere in particular you want to go?”
My budget wants me to stay in and eat ramen.I can probably splurge a little on lunch.
“I’m not picky,” I say instead of burdening him with my financial crisis.
“How does Valley Baker sound?”
“That sounds great.”And cheap.
“Amazing. I’m looking forward to it. I’ll let you get on with your night. Sweet dreams, Mack.”
“Yeah, thanks. You, too, Talmage.”
I hang up before he can say anything else, smacking my head lightly with my phone.
I chug the rest of the chamomile, hoping it will knock me out so I won’t have dreams about the fireman with the shiny blue eyes and the brightest smile I’ve ever seen.
I know it won’t work though. Even when I was taking sleep medication that was basically a tranquilizer, I couldn’t escape the dreams.
Except, this isn’t a dream. This is—somehow—my reality.
What does Talmage want from me anyway? Is this some kind of pity thing? I’m sure he’s heard about my parents by now. It’s been five years, though, so why would he be trying to get in contact now?
The sharp sting of grief hits me right in the chest like it always does when I think of my parents. Of how alone I felt when they died. How confused I was dealing with the funeral arrangements and stepping into a guardian role for the twins. How a small part of me wished Talmage would have reached out then, to offer his big bear hugs that always seemed to calm me when we were friends.
It’s been thirteen years, Mack. You can’t keep holding on to the past.
But how am I supposed to let go when the past has come back to haunt me?
Chapter 6
Talmage
14 years old…
Butterflies swirl around in my stomach as I wait for Mack at her locker. It’s the last day of school before Christmas break, and I was up much later than I should have been so I could get this little project done for her.
I hear her laughter before I see her, and the nerves increase.
I hope she doesn't think this is weird.
The minute she turns the corner, her smile widens, and she skips over to me, wrapping me in a hug.
