Page 2 of Choosing a Forever
On the inside? I’ve already removed my records and started living my life the way I want to.
Even if I don’t know exactly what it looks like.
I thought I knew. It was a simple plan.
Graduate high school: check.
Serve a mission: check.
Go to school: check—even though I changed careers halfway through.
Find a nice girl and get married: well, I was halfway there.
I met a nice girl, and we were engaged, but she changed her mind about me. She said she wanted a husband with a career that’s not so dangerous. She wanted someone with a regular nine-to-five who would be home at night.
That’s fine, totally understandable. The minimal heartbreak I felt when she handed me back the ring was probably an indicator we wouldn't have been happy together long-term. It only took a week for me to get over it.
Maybe something’s wrong with me because I haven’t felt the kind of gut-wrenching heartbreak Taylor Swift writes songs about since I was fifteen.
Maybe that’s because it was the last time you loved someone so deeply.
I can rememberthatheartbreak like it was yesterday.
I wish I could go back and tell fifteen-year-old Talmage not to let her go. Maybe he would have listened to me. Maybe then I wouldn’t have a “one that got away.”
Unfortunately, second chances are rare, and the likelihood of me getting one are slim to none.
Chapter 1
Talmage
13 years old…
Itry not to let my eyes trail over to the girl a couple rows over, but I can’t help it. She’s just so…
Pretty.
I’ve never seen someone as pretty as her. Her auburn hair is twisted in two braids, and her long eyelashes are coated in mascara, making them look kind of like spider legs—in a good way.
But I don’t think she even knows I exist. Sure, we were in the musical together last year, but we didn’ttalk.The cast was so big, we never really had a chance to do more than exist in the same area. Hopefully, we’ll be in the musical together again this year, and I can get to know her. Until then, I’ll sneak glances of her in math class.
A nudge on my arm brings my focus back to the teacher explaining the equations we’ll be working on, and my face turns red as I look at Jacob next to me.
“Why are you so distracted?” he asks, looking behind me to find what I was looking at. When he sees her, he gives me a knowing grin. “Just talkto her, Talmage.”
“No. We can’t date until we’re sixteen anyway, so there’s no point.”
“You can be friends with her, though.”
The teacher clears her throat, giving us a look that tells us to stop talking. When she’s done with her lesson, she tells us to work quietly in groups. I steal another glance at the girl I’m pretty sure I have my first crush on, and her brows are furrowed, her nose scrunched in an adorably confused way, reminding me of how a bunny wiggles its nose.
I wonder if she’s struggling with what we’re learning. I look at my already complete worksheet and wonder if I should ask her if she needs help, but the bell rings before I can make a decision.
The next time we’re in class, the teacher tells us we have new assigned seats.
And she’s sitting right next to me.
I try to keep my leg from shaking, but it’s the only thing stopping me from standing up and shouting at someone—something very off-brand for me. I can’t even pull out my phone and try to distract myself with something else because it would raise too many questions.
