Page 114 of Choosing a Forever
Harper chuckles and shakes her head, returning to her cereal when Tal slides my coffee and oatmeal to me. He leans back against the counter and engages the twins in a meaningful conversation about their hobbies and their friends. He’s genuine about his questions and intentionally listens. The twins—Kinsley mostly—chatter on and on, and the comfortable familiarity and trust they seem to have with Tal nearly makes me cry.
I hope lunch goes well so we can grow our little family, and they can learn to trust other people.
Laurie requested we meet at Valley Baker, so we pull into the parking lot ten minutes before we’re scheduled to be here. Luckily, it doesn’t seem too busy.
My cramps are still insistent and painful, but the medication has taken the edge off somewhat. What I really want is a hot bath and a long nap. I’ll get it as soon as we’re done here.
When Tal’s parents pull in next to us and wave, Tal gets out and opens my door for me before wrapping his arm around my waist. His gentle grip on my hip soothes my anxiety about what this lunch might entail.
To my shock, Laurie wraps me in a quick hug when we meet at the front of the cars, and George offers me a gentle handshake before we head inside and order.
They pay for our lunch while Tal and I grab a booth in the farthest corner, hopefully lending us a bit of privacy for the upcoming conversation.
George and Laurie slide into the booth across from us, and the ensuing awkward silence is thick around us.
Finally, Laurie clears her throat. “Mackenzie, I want to apologize for my behavior. The things I said about you—recently and when you were a teenager—were cruel and unwarranted, and I’m sorry. My worry has always been about Talmage’s well-being and his spiritualhealth, but I couldn’t see past it to notice how happy you two are.” Her eyes well with tears, and she gives Tal a watery smile. “You’re glowing, happier than I’ve ever seen you. I’m sorry for what I said to you, too, Talmage. I shouldn’t have been so mean.”
George grabs Laurie’s hand and gives it a gentle squeeze as he picks up where she left off. “We feel awful for missing your wedding, and to make up for it, we’d like to pay for and host a reception. Whenever works best for you. We want to be part of your lives, however it looks for you two.”
Laurie reaches across the table and surprises me by gripping my hands. “You have experienced so much loss, and I’m so, so sorry for that, Mackenzie. I cannot imagine—” She shakes her head. “We can’t replace your parents, and we don’t want to, but we hope to build trust, and maybe someday, you’ll feel comfortable coming to us for whatever you need. Your sisters, too. We want to be in your corner.”
Tears threaten to spill over. I may not know Laurie well, but everything she’s saying sounds genuine.
“Thank you, Mom,” Tal whispers from next to me, squeezing my thigh. “I really appreciate your apology and your willingness to try. We want you in our lives, too.”
I nod along in agreement since I don’t trust myself to speak right now.
Our food comes out, and conversation changes to lighter topics. They ask us about our reunion, and we tell them about the accident and the grocery store. The way Talmage describes it sounds like a cheesy romance novel.
Laurie asks about Harper’s diabetes and says she’s been researching diabetic friendly meals for when we come over for dinner. She lets me know she’s happy to have the girls over any time Talmage and I want to finally go on a honeymoon.
Things feel good and easy, until George asks, “So when can we expect our first grandchild?” His tone is teasing in that dad way. The way people ask wanting an actual answer but pose it as a silly question to ease the seriousness.
Talmage looks at me with panic in his eyes, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. The idea of disclosing my medical history and the reasons I can’t have kids makes me want to hurl. Tal must be able to read the defeat on my face.
“Mack and I aren’t planning on having children anytime soon, if at all.”
“Why not?” Laurie’s eyes bounce between me and Tal.
I clear my throat. Better to just rip off the Band-Aid. “My fallopian tubes were damaged due to an infection and had to be removed.”
I don’t say I’ve never really felt the call to be a mom the way some people do. I like kids just fine, but I’ve never dreamed of having my own. Maybe it’s because I was thrust into the guardian role in early adulthood or because I’ve known since I was a teen that pregnancy isn’t an easy option. Either way, I’ve made peace with the fact kids aren’t in my future.
I fully expect Laurie and George to freak out and tell us it’s our duty to have kids, spew the religious bullshit that we’re being selfish.
Laurie’s face softens into a sad smile. “Well, Siren’s the best fur-grandbaby ever. Maybe you can have another one of those instead.”
I don’t think Tal or I expected that response, so we stumble through some kind of affirmation.
“If you were to decide you want to adopt or have a surrogate, we would support you,” George adds. “But we respect your decisions. Your choice to have children or not doesn't involve us.”
“Thanks, George,” I say at the same time Tal says, “Thanks, Dad.”
We end lunch with goodbye hugs and promises of Sunday dinners. Laurie wants to have lunch with just me to discuss reception plans sometime, and she wants to have a girls’ day with the twins, Lauren, Lacey, and me.
I feel lighter than I have in weeks and full of more hope and happiness than I’ve experienced in well over a decade.
A pang of sadness hits me when I think about how my parents would feel about all of this. They loved Talmage. They would be happy I’m happy and getting along with his mom. They would be happy Kins and Harp have made friends with my in-laws and they’re thriving.
