Page 31 of Choosing a Forever
“Really?” I croak, a grin threatening to take over my face.
Mack isn’t smiling, though. She looks worried as she nods.
The doves stop flapping, my stomach dropping out of my butt as worry replaces the elation I felt for a brief moment.
I don’t want this to be a sad thing for Mack.
“Are you sure about this? You seem…” I search for the right word, finally settling on “reluctant.”
“It’s not because ofyou,” she starts. “This is all just so crazy. So fast. I mean, we barely know each other and—”
“Hey, we know each other! We’ve known each other for almost fifteen years.”
Mack gives me a pitying smile I don’t like. “I’m not the same girl I was at fifteen, Tal. Just like you’re not the same guy. This new version of me has gone through more trauma than anyone should, and I’m not looking at things through rose-colored glasses. Fifteen-year-old Tal would have never dreamed of leaving the church, and you are.”
But he dreamed of marrying you. We have that in common.
I don’t say that, though. She’s right, we’re not the same people, but we’re not complete strangers like she’s making it seem.
“This just gives us a chance to get to know each other again. I haven’t changed so much in the last decade.”
“We could get to know each otherwithoutgetting married, you know.”
“Right, but if we get married, you have more free time. Plus, we’ll be living together, so it gives us more opportunities to talk.”
Mack’s eyes widen. “I-I didn’t think about that. Us living together, I mean. I guess we need to talk through logistics. You’ve clearly thought a lot about this.”
I have. Every day for three weeks, I’ve thought about it. What it would look like, how things would feel. “Well, we’d have to live together to sell it, right? We could be charged with insurance fraud if someone suspects we’re only getting married for insurance benefits, and it would be suspicious if we didn’t live together.”
“Right. That makes sense.” She bites down on her lower lip. They look so soft. So kissable. They look fuller than they did when we were teenagers. I wonder if they feel the same. “So, we wouldn’t tell anyone it’s fake?”
“No. I think we’d need to keep it between us.”
“And Lizzie,” she blurts, her face flushing. “Lizzie knows you asked and why. She um, she told me to do it. So she would know.”
“Do you trust she won’t say anything?” I remember Lizzie from school. I didn’t know her very well, but if Mack trusts her, I trust her.
“Yes. I trust her with my life.”
“Great. We’ll need a witness for the wedding anyway. Will you want to tell your sisters or…?”
Mack sighs. “I don’t know. I don’t like lying to them, but they’re fifteen. They’re either going to tell everyone or bully me about it. They’ll probably bully me about it if I don’t tell them it’s fake anyway.”
“Why would they bully you?”
“Well, I haven’t dated anyone since before… you know. They’ve been up my ass about getting out there, but I always tell them I don’t have time—which isn’t exactly false. So if I come home and say, ‘Hey, look! I’m getting married!’ they’re going to have very loud opinions and many, many questions.”
She hasn’t dated anyone infive years?
Has she really been going through all of the heartbreak and pain completely alone?
Well, I guess not completely alone if she’s still close with Lizzie, but still.
Five years.Wow.
“Just tell them you didn’t want to say anything until it was serious.”
She snorts. “Right. I feel like marriage is a step above serious.”
