Page 43 of Choosing a Forever
“Anyway, Talmage, you’re up. What’s new with you?” Dad asks, moving the conversation along.
I set down my fork and rub my hands on my thighs. “Well, I actually have some really big news. I’m getting married on February fifteenth.”
A few forks drop, everyone’s eyes turn to me, and my mom gasps.
“What do you mean you’re gettingmarried?To whom?” Mom sounds outraged and maybe a little hurt.
“Mackenzie Thorpe—”
“WHAT?” she yells. “That—that…girlwho made you do things against your will as a teenager? The one who made you stray from the path? Talmage, please tell me you’re joking!” Mom spits out the word “girl” like it’s an insult, and feelings I’m not used to swell in my chest.
Anger. Defensiveness.
I’m angry my mom is already insulting my future wife, angry she’s holding a grudge with ateenager. I didn’t think she’d be singing Mack’s praises or making plans to take her wedding dress shopping, but I also didn’t expect her to be so mad, so hurtful.
I try to keep myself calm, even though I want to snap at her. “You’re acting like I wasn’t a willing participant in my relationship with her when we were teenagers, Mom, and that’s not fair to her. Mackenzie didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do, but you’ve always thought she did.”
Mom shakes her head. “She’s bad news, Talmage. She doesn’t go to church, she’s got those tattoos, and not to mention the trauma she’s been through. Who knows what kind of mental issues she has! Besides, I didn’t know you two were even talking again! Now you’re telling me you’re gettingmarried?It’s just unbelievable.”
“Well, believe it. It may be fast, but you’re always telling me ‘when you know, you know,’ and Iknow.Mackenzie isn’t bad news. She’s the woman I’m going to marry. The best thing to ever happen to me. Iloveher.”
The weight of the truth of those words settles the anger in me, just a little. It’s soon. It’s crazy. But I don’t really care. They’re true regardless of the timing. I only wish I would have told Mack I love her before I told my mom, but I don’t know how receptive Mack would be to those words right now. She’s still a little closed off, and I know I need to give her time to be prepared to hear them.
I’ll wait until she trusts me explicitly to tell her.
“Well, I can’t support you not getting married in the temple, and I’m assuming you’re not. This is the wrong choice, Talmage.” Mom looks to my dad for support, and he just sits there with his arms crossed and shakes his head in disappointment.
My siblings all have their heads down now, avoiding eye contact with me or my mom, not wanting to get in the middle of this. I don’t blame them. My mom can be scary.
“I’m not doing this to hurt you, and I’m sorry you don’t feel like you can support me.” I take a deep breath. It's time to go big or go home. “I guess I might as well rip off the Band-Aid and add that I’m leaving the church. And before you blame Mackenzie for it, you should know this has been a long time coming—before I even reconnected with her. She’s just given me the courage to finally do it.”
Mom’s eyes fill with tears, and she covers her mouth like she’s holding in a scream. “I knew you going to California—being around sin and hanging out with Emma—was a bad idea. But you wanted to spread yourwings and try something different, so I didn’t say anything. I hoped you’d be stronger than your cousins, but I guess Satan is stronger.”
The anger comes back with a blazing vengeance, this time on behalf of my cousins. “Emma, Elli, and Hannah are some of the strongest people I know. You don’t know half of what they’ve been through. I hoped you’d be more accepting of my decision, but I understand this is hard and you’ll need time. I hope you’ll change your mind because I’d like you to be there on my wedding day, but only if you’re going to be happy for me.”
I stand and take my half-eaten food to the sink, then whistle for Siren to come in from the backyard and get her in the car. All the while my mom’s sporadic sobs and Dad’s hushed words of comfort act as a soundtrack to my departure. No one tries to stop me, and it stings more than I anticipated.
Unfortunately, the dinner didn’t go the way I wanted it to. But I still have a sliver of hope they’ll come around.
At least the silver lining is I get to see Mack tonight. I just… won’t tell her my mom’s still holding a grudge with the teenage version of her. Mom will have to get over it if she wants to be part of my life.
Mackenzie is the most important person in my life now. My family—at least for now.
Forever if I can help it.
Chapter 15
Talmage
14 years old…
My nerves swirl around in my stomach when I get in the car with Mack’s parents to head to her dance recital. She had to be there early to get ready, so I’ll be alone with them on the short drive.
“Talmage. How’s it going?” her dad asks when I get in the car. Her twin sisters are blabbering away when I squeeze myself between their car seats to sit in the very back row.
Do her parents know Mack and I are in love? Has she told them anything?
I feel like it’d be pretty obvious with how much time we spend together, and the fact I’m going to her recital. But has she said it out loud? If she has, they’re a lot more chill than my parents. They wouldn’t be cool about it.
