Page 69 of Choosing a Forever
Mack’s notsome girl. She’s everything.
But… is my mom right? Am I risking the future I’ve been working towards forever if I keep spending time with Mack the way I have been? If I continue to date her, will I ruin my chances at eternal salvation?
I’ve been living with Mack for a little over two weeks, and I’m losing my mind.
I had to look up how often is considered “normal” to masturbate because I’ve been doing it twice a day, and it still doesn’t feel like I’m getting any sort of relief.
After the first night Mack admitted to being uncomfortable while she slept, she’s been wearing what I assume are her regular pajamas, and my hormones… they can’t take it.
I want my wife. Badly. I’m in a constant state of desire for her.
It’s not even about sex, I just want to hold her and feel her skin on mine. I want to kiss the tip of her nose and inhale her scent first thing when I wake up.
There was one night last week when I woke up at two in the morning and felt like I was boiling, only to realize Mack and I had somehow met in the middle of the bed, and her soft, lovely body was pressed right up against mine, her front to my back.
Thank goodness I was facing away from her, because one movement from her against my erection would have had me coming immediately.
When I woke up in the morning, though, she was back on her side of the bed, not touching me. Accidental cuddling hasn’t happened since.
I’m a little sad about it.
Other than my growing need for her, things have been nice. We’ve gotten into a good routine. If I’m off when she’s working, I make lunch and dinner for us both, and she cooks when I work.
She hasn’t let me do her laundry yet, and I’m still trying to figure out the system she and the twins have when it comes to the way their cupboards are organized, but I think I’m getting the hang of things.
I’m trying not to dwell on my disappointment at not being able to kiss her goodbye or snuggle her when I’ve had a long day, and I’m ignoring my body’s eagerness to be close to her unless I’m in the shower, surrounded by the scent of her body wash and shampoo.
Siren’s bark pulls me out of my thoughts, and I turn to see Enoch and Nathan enter the kitchen area in the firehouse.
“How’s married life, brother?” Enoch gives me a slap on the back as he walks past me to the fridge.
I shrug. “Can’t complain. What’s new with you two?”
Enoch shakes his finger at me. “No, no, we’re not doing that today. You’ve avoided talking about Mackenzie for weeks, dude. It’s time to spill. Let us lonely bachelors live vicariously through you.”
I roll my eyes. “I don’t have much to tell. Mack and I are both busy, but it’s nice having someone to come home to. I love having someone to cook for and talk to about my day. I like having a partner.”
“And how are themarital activities?” Enoch pumps his eyebrows suggestively.
Nathan smacks him on the chest. “Dude, don’t ask shit like that. It’s personal!”
Nathan didn’t grow up Mormon, and his casual use of curse words used to be jarring but not anymore. It’s nice to not feel like I have to cover my ears to keep the “bad words” out.
“I want to know if the waiting is worth it!” Enoch argues.
Enochdidgrow up Mormon, and from what I understand, is still active in the church.
How honest can I be with them right now? Do I tell them I don’tknowif it’s worth it? It would be kind of suspicious if I haven’t made love to my wife after getting married so quickly.
Enoch studies me for a minute before his jaw drops. “You’re still a virgin, aren’t you?”
“Will you be quiet?” I hiss at him, checking to make sure no one else is around us. “Yes. I’m still a virgin.”
“Why?” Enoch cries.
“Dude! Not cool.” Nathan sends Enoch a warning glare.
I groan, regretting admitting it.
