Page 46 of Corey
“Of course it’s okay.”
“I want to heal. I want to forget. It’s just so hard when I can still hear the gunshots, see the bodies and the blood. God, Corey, there was so much blood.” Her voice cracked and she swallowed hard as she felt the sting of tears.
“You’re not there. You’re here. Safe. I’ve got you, sweetheart.” His embrace tightened and she released a shaky breath.
Gathering her strength, she turned in his arms so she could look into his incredible ice-blue eyes. Because if she squeezed her eyes shut while she went back to that day, she’d see it all over again. And she’d rather see Corey’s beautiful eyes, overflowing with understanding and support, as she relived that horrible day.
Like a rock, he steadied her.
“I remember waking up—not quite a year ago—and thinking the sky looked extra blue. San Diego weather is always pretty terrific, but there wasn’t a cloud in sight and it was agorgeous December day. I should’ve just gone to the beach, but I decided to go shopping instead. Christmas was coming up fast, and so was my sister’s birthday. I had a stupid coupon and I was worried it would expire.”
She shook her head, gaze dropping.So dumb.Almost losing her life hadn’t been worth saving an extra twenty percent and not being able to sleep without nightmares.
“Look at me, Sera.” She lifted her head, telling herself to be brave, and when she focused on him, he gave her an encouraging nod. “Nothing is going to hurt you. I won’t let it.”
“You’re stronger than you feel,” she whispered, and he arched a brow. “My therapist used to tell me that. She said grief tells lies—that you’re weak and can’t make it—but not to believe it.”
“That’s good advice,” he said carefully.
“I told her it was bullshit.” They shared a smile. No one got her like Corey did. “Anyway, I bought a candle and used that oh-so important coupon. The mall was busy, and I’d just stepped out of the store, when I heard a popping sound. Almost like fireworks.”
She tucked the sheet higher beneath her arms and he took both her hands in his, holding them firmly, but so tenderly. Rough calluses brushed against her soft hands. She wished she were as strong as he was. Then maybe she could’ve done something that day to help others. Or somehow stop the gunman.
But she hadn’t. She’d watched others fall…and then she’d run.
“I just stood there, not sure what to do, until a wave of people came running toward me. They looked panicked. A woman started screaming and then I heard someone yell, ‘Shooter!’ That’s when people began…dropping.”
Her heart rate picked up, but she forced herself to slow her breathing. To stay in control and not give in to the panic threatening to consume her.Not this time,she swore, leaning into Corey’s strength.
“I didn’t know what to do and it’s like I was frozen in place. But the second I saw the shooter, I turned and ran back into the store. A bunch of shoppers had run to the back wall and crouched down behind the counter. Someone grabbed my arm and pulled me into the back room. It was a lady who worked there. Her nametag said Debbie. Sh-she saved my life.
“Anyway, it was so small, and I got herded into an employee bathroom with ten other people. Someone engaged the lousy push-in lock, but I didn’t have much faith in its ability to keep a gunman out. We were crammed in there and couldn’t move. Someone shut the lights off and the darkness felt crushing.
“I haven’t handled being in the dark very well since then. It triggers…everything from that day.”
“Sweetheart,” he whispered raggedly.
The tears began to fall. No matter how hard she tried not to cry, it was useless. They welled over and streamed down her face in a torrent. “I’ve never felt so trapped in my life. The man came into the store—”
Her voice caught and Corey’s face turned stormy. Jaw clenched, a muscle jerked in his cheek as his hold on her hands tightened even more. “You made it,” he reminded her.
“But so many others didn’t. The rifle kept firing, and I remember jumping with every sound and shaking so hard and not knowing whether he was going to come charging into the back room and shoot us all. We were huddled together, trying to stay quiet, but people were crying and praying. God, it would’ve been like shooting fish in a barrel. We wouldn’t have stood a chance.”
“Take a breath,” he urged, rubbing a hand up and down her arm. “You’re safe, sweetheart. You survived.”
“All the people out in the store were shot,” she whispered, voice strained. “Moms, kids, friends…”
She swiped at her runny nose.
“I think he might’ve opened the door to the back room, but since it was dark and quiet, he left. Didn’t bother looking around or searching. Thank God. But I kept thinking he’d be back, and it took the police forever to get there. At least, it felt like it. We hid in that bathroom for over an hour. When it was finally safe to come out, when SWAT escorted us to the nearest exit, I saw so many people had died. So much blood and death.”
“What happened to the shooter?” he asked darkly.
“He took his own life. Later, it was revealed his ex-girlfriend worked at the mall. He was angry because she’d broken up with him.” She gave her head a small shake. “He thought she was working that day, but turns out she wasn’t, so he decided to go after everyone else. I just don’t understand how people can be so evil. So cold-blooded.”
“As a SEAL, I’ve seen the worst of humanity,” Corey murmured, cupping her face. He traced a thumb over her lower lip. “And now that I’ve met you, I’ve seen the best of it, too.”
“You’re so sweet.” As hard as she tried to stop crying, she simply couldn’t. Maybe it was some kind of cathartic release, but the tears flowed endlessly. She tried swiping them away, but it was like trying to plug up the ocean.
