Page 7 of Willow Embers
“Should we split up?” I ask coldly, my eyes on the game trail.
“No,” Beauden snaps, turning to face me. “He didn’t go that way. There’s no paw prints in the dirt, just hooves.”
I refuse to let my shoulders slump. “Then why the hell are we still standing here?”
The weight of his gaze on me is like a physical presence all its own, but I don’t look at him.
My attention is where it needs to be, out in the woods, looking for Tiberius.
And that’s where it’ll stay.
FOUR
BEAUDEN
The ideaof letting Nixie out of my sight in the woods when the sun is setting makes my blood run cold. I know she wants to find Tiberius. I get it, but splitting up? That’s a hard no.
It’s not that I don’t think she’s capable. She is, obviously. Even under the pressure of losing something she holds so dear to her heart, she’s fighting to hold herself together. Which is a good reminder that she isn’t the same woman who was in tears when I kissed her goodbye before leaving for basic training. Or the one who clung to my jacket like some part of her was sure I was saying goodbye forever.
It wasn’t supposed to be forever.
Two months. My plan was to make it through basic training, get a solid start on becoming the man she actually deserved, and then show up on her front steps in my Army greens with an engagement ring.
We were too young for that kind of commitment. I know that now. But that wasn’t why I didn’t call. It wasn’t that I didn’t love her. I’ll love Nixie until the day I die, but every time I thought about calling back then, a part of me crumbled. I knew her voicewould twist the blade in my heart. And hearing her in tears over the phone, when all I wanted was to be with her?
That would have broken me.
There was no way I could become who I needed to be for her if I fell apart in basic training.
But I waited too long, and she thought my silence was something it wasn’t.
Then everything went sideways. I was fast-tracked from Basic to AIT. I tried to call her when I realized I couldn’t make it home, but she’d changed her number. She’d blocked me on her socials. And when I broke down and called her mom directly, that fiery woman refused to tell me anything.
I almost went AWOL to come back to Black Timber Peak and find her, but then that insidious thought worked its way into my heartsick brain.
If she really loved me, she would have waited.
I left to make myself a better man, for her, and it was easier to believe that she gave up than to admit I’d broken something I didn’t know how to fix.
I suck air through my teeth and turn my attention back to the trail. “Eyes and ears open, Nixie,” I say, fighting hard to keep that bone-deep regret from bleeding into my voice.
As much as I want to wrap her in my arms and tell her everything is going to be okay, that’s not what she needs. She needs to be strong, and if she finds that strength in anger, so be it. I’ll take that hit.
I deserve so much worse.
Nixie huffs out a breath. It might be irritation or impatience. Doesn’t really matter. Whatever it is, I keep my focus forward and start walking, albeit a little slower. One thing that clearly hasn’t changed is her sheer stubbornness. It’s one of the reasons I fell for her in the first place, but when it’s something this serious, she’s already shown me she’ll push herself too hard.
Ten minutes pass in a silence so thick I could cut it with a knife. At the twenty-minute mark, when I toss a glance behind me, desperation paints a scowl on Nixie’s face. And when the sun sinks below the mountains, and I pause to put on my headlamp and hand Nixie my flashlight, I can already see the hope fading in her hazel eyes.
“We’ll find him,” I say, searching for confidence that isn’t there. Nightfall means we have to slow down. We can’t cover as much ground. And the odds of missing some tiny sign of Tiberius skyrocket.
Nixie swallows hard and nods.
“Are you thirsty?”
She shakes her head, but I see that little denial for what it is.
I open my canteen and hand it over. “Thirteen years later, and you’re still a lousy liar.” I try for a slightly teasing tone to lighten the moment, but the look she shoots me is so cold it could freeze fire.
