Page 15 of My Sweetest Agony
I have to look away—at anything but him.
Gladys still sits on the table, waiting to be repotted, and for the first time, I really see her—probably because I don’t want to examine my reaction to Cam or the tangle of emotions twisting inside my stomach right now.
And how ironic it is.
She’s survived almost fifteen years, but her world has been literally turned upside down—and dumped onto the old wooden table—like mine was. But she’ll have a nice, new home soon. Somewhere she can hopefully flourish and grow. As for me…I’m just adrift. Alone.
“There was another reason I came by…”
Cam’s admission draws my gaze back to his.
“What’s that?”
To rattle me?
To crush my already shattered heart into a fine powder by having to stare at your face again?
Because the more I look at him, the harder it becomes.
To see Drew but also not.
To see the differences yet so much the same.
I want him to be Drew so badly that I can’t even breathe.
Tears start to well in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I’ve already made a fool of myself in front of this man once. I don’t intend to do it again.
Camden isn’t Andrew.
Camden isn’t Andrew.
Cam isn’t Drew!
No matter how many times I need to repeat it, I’ll just keep telling myself that until my heart and mind get on board with it.
I bat my eyelashes a few times, trying to keep the tears from making an appearance while I wait for him to continue. “How did you even know how to find me?”
The corners of his lips twitch slightly, the same way they always did when Drew was fighting a grin. “Drew told me all about you.”
“What?” I tilt my head slightly. “I thought you two weren’t speaking.”
For the past four years, as far as I know, they hadn’t even said a word to each other. Partially because Camden has been in London the entire time, but also because of whatever falling out they had that Drew never wanted to discuss with me. Whatever drove them apart, it hurt him enough that going on with his life without his twin was a distinct choice he made, and I had no choice but to follow.
Cam shakes his head. “We weren’t. He told me before…”
Before the mystery falling out.
That he always brushed off, saying it was a “family thing.”
Isn’t that what I was supposed to be? His family?
For a man who was always so open, who wore his heart on his sleeve, the fact that he never wanted to talk about what drove a wedge between him and his twin brother always bothered me. Even more so now, when I realize Drew had other secrets.
Like why he was in that area of town that night…
“Anyway”—he runs his hand through his hair—“my mom told me that you have all of Drew’s things at your house. She said he came by her place and cleared out all of his stuff last year.”
I nod hesitantly, unsure where he’s going with this. “Yeah. So, your mom knows you’re in town now?”
