Page 27 of My Sweetest Agony
Not an old note to Drew asking him to grab it for me on his way home from a shift at the hospital.
Nothing.
So, how did he know?
There’s likely some simple explanation. Perhaps Nancy mentioned it to him during a phone call over the past several years. Or maybe Drew and Cam were speaking and just keeping it a secret for some unknown reason and the topic somehow came up.
Regardless of how he learned the information, I’m glad he did because my mouth waters looking at it.
The first time in forever that I’ve actually felt hungry.
Because of Camden.
Another tiny piece of that wall of anger I put up between us chips off, slowly melting away to join the one that disappeared yesterday when we sat on that couch together and he told me those stories.
When I saw how much he loved Drew, no matter what I might think about how he’s handled his passing and the situation with Nancy.
As much as I want to dig into the very thoughtful meal he’s left for me, curiosity makes me push the food back into the fridge and head into the office to see what he found today.
Hoping, praying, there’s something in these boxes that might be able to do what Cam did for me yesterday…
I flip on the light and find several more boxes stacked in front of the coffee table. Another note sits next to a few items laid out across the smooth, polished wooden surface.
In here, Cam’s scent mingles heavily with Drew’s, somehow tempering the overwhelming sadness that hit me when we came in yesterday. I inhale them both, squeezing my eyes closed as I do it, taking several long, deep breaths, trying to steady myself.
To remind myself that today at work was good.
It was a good day.
It was a good day.
The best you’ve had.
Better than things have been any other time I’ve been at Buds & Blooms.
I actually made it through the day without any tears, but now that I’m home to this, I don’t think that’s going to last very long.
It’s impossible when everywhere I look, I see Drew and relive our memories built here together.
When I imagine the ones we would have made if he hadn’t left me here alone. If he hadn’t had so many secrets…
But if I concentrate on that, I absolutely will end up in tears again tonight, and I so desperately need another break from that. Just one full day and night of happiness rather than gut-wrenching pain and sadness.
I slowly peel my eyes open and examine Cam’s note.
I thought you might enjoy these. I explained each on the back.
Because he knew I would want to know.
Because his stories made me laugh yesterday and he wanted to give me more.
Another little shard of that wall falls.
I set down his note and reach for the stack of photos to my left.
The first one draws a grin across my lips—likely taken by Nancy, it’s of the two of them dressed as Mario and Luigi on what must have been Halloween, both beaming at the camera. Though she’s shown me a few photo albums over the years, I know I never saw this one.
This, I would have remembered.
